Hearth and Home

Been watching Mad Men non-stop.  And I wonder whether the 50’s stereotype of women has somehow stuck. And where does that put me? A housewife whose realm is not the kitchen and whose suburbia is definitely not a spic and span house.

Sometimes I wish I could cook. That, and do crafts. Come to think of it, I don’t fit the “motherly” stereotype. I don’t even understand why my 6-yr. old likes to draw me with an apron and heels when I have never donned both. And neither will they reminisce to the smell of freshly baked cookies and cinnamon.  I even flinch when they mention I’m a stay-at-home-mom.  It simply was not part of my “what I want to be when I grow up” list.

I remember our high school slam book.  You won’t find my name under “Most Likely to Get Married” or “Have kids.” In fact, my heading was: “Most likely to be a Mistress.” (Don’t know if I should be shameful or proud of the distinction.) My best friend who’s a badass litigation lawyer keeps putting off motherhood, and wonders how in the world I’m able to occupy entire days at home.  Even my soul sister once said: It’s wasn’t like you to be a mom, but somehow, you’re doing fine at it.

Isn’t keeping house innate?  Or am I to thank the heavens that the likely Mistress got married, had kids and hasn’t burned the house, yet. The thoughts preoccupied me till I realized: throw the mommy and housewife stereotype out the window.   There should be a new kind of domestic goddess, keeping the hearth and home. And television should learn a thing or two about the new breed. Because I’m quite tired of watching the happy housewives dull routine of cleaning in pearls, singing with imaginary notes in the air, even hanging up dirty laundry. And I equally hate people equating modern housewives with fat lips who shop and gossip at housewives clubs. And please, find us another product to sell other than cleaning ware or shampoo.

Here are some hints:

  1. We don’t wear aprons, pearls and heels all day. Not all of us can cook (well, we try.) We don’t sing, crochet or do needlework. (I can’t even fold the bed sheets right. Although I would still crown the ideal mommy-housewives who are able to bake, crochet and do the laundry, in their heels!)
  2. We’re not preoccupied with dirt.  And when we do clean, we don’t smile so joyfully.
  3. We don’t stay home because we’re timid, shy, dumb or because we’re lacking in ambition. We’re cut out for the real world. We just prefer the wackier world of home.
  4. We got the dough.  We don’t depend entirely on allowance or alimony for being mothers and wives. We can earn our own keep. Most work from home and get paid.  Yes, that’s what working from home means. It’s work and it ain’t free.
  5. We’re not mothering hens. Our husbands and children are not our entire world neither are we defined by them. We didn’t leave ourselves behind in exchange for housewife suburbia.
  6. Forget submissive or dependent.  Decisions are not deferred to husband.  We make the decisions (ok, together.)
  7. Women’s clubs. Nah.
  8. We can still change the world from home. Hey, there’s a lot of time to spare, why not just save the world; and
  9. We have fun doing what you would actually, maybe, in your heart of hearts,  be rather doing.

And oh, we have time to waste writing nonsense.

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