The Myth of Narcissus: Falling in Love and Lies (Online)

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Posted on June 17, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

I’m sort of gazing enraptured into the social network pool, hour after hour. Now I’m curious, when am I going to transform into a Narcissus flower?

There’s a fixation over red numbered squares that hover over that tiny virtual world on my screen. And there’s a little quiver you feel for every “like” pressed. That, or you’re kind of a wreck, anxious, because no one seems to like the post. Scary. I might be falling in love with my social network reflection. Scientifically, they state you get a shot of dopamine each time someone likes your post, comments on or shares it. Still, it’s the same dope you get from falling in love. And so, this nonsensical drooling over the numbers I get on my screen, it’s got to be self-love.

I read up on it. There’s a correlation between people who score high on the Narcissistic Personality test and those who: have more friends, tag themselves endlessly and update constantly on Facebook. “Facebook serves narcissistic adults as a mirror.” (University of Michigan, Computers in Human Behavior.) It makes sense. Why put a show if you don’t think yourself interesting or the least bit important? Promote the self. Reveal the beloved. Who gets to devour truffles in Turin? Ever sunbathed on miles of white sand with no tourists? Extra-ordinary. Outside the humdrum of everyone’s existence. And you can’t help but share.

I trust I haven’t been swept off my feet. That this, is just, healthy self-love. I’m not (yet) staking out friends, jealously keeping tabs on whether they liked or shared someone else’s posts, not mine. I don’t (yet) have the narcissistic tendencies of exhibitionism (i.e. pucker up the lips + bathroom shots) or “superiority” (i.e. Selfie just sitting here, because you really need to see me all the time.) And certainly, I know I am not “The One.” Let’s not go there.

Except that you wonder whether you’re in the periphery of almost losing control. Do I post to share a love of life or because I want to show off how much I love mine? Do I measure clicks and likes like I measure myself? Do I lap up the attention, or live off the numbers, starving for validation? Am I eternally grateful or do I feel entitled to the “good one!”, “love it!” and “haha!” all the time?

I also just listened to a talk on “Lies.” As he ratted on the kinds of lies, I suddenly realized how much lying we do online. It’s a Photoshopped, spelling and grammar-checked, quotable-quoted reality. And there’s no denying this avatar is quite fetching. How vain, that somehow, the photos I’ve posted have been edited to a very flattering hue. Like wearing heavy make-up and Botox online. Do we ever post a true picture of ourselves? Look at the newsfeed. Isn’t my virtual life just a tad rosier than real life? And so we embellish a bit, overplay, sepia-tone our portraits, and untag ourselves out of unflattering pictures. There’s no space for wrong lighting; wrong angle; wrong smile; and kindly delete that plastic cup on the table. Hacer la vista gorda. Turn a blind eye, pretend you don’t see anything. Because a lie is: (a) a falsehood; (b) made with intent to deceive; and (3) often, brought about by fear. All the elements are there. You blot out things or paint them rosy. Stretch the truth. Without calling it a lie, the underlying intention is to make someone believe in your fib. And somehow, fear is kept out of sight. It’s scary how in the extremes, self-love is self-deception.

Yet, everyone knows that this virtual world is almost made-up. A sort of web of white-lies. A taller tale than it should be. Perhaps it’s not a major transgression, like breaking a cardinal rule or committing a mortal sin. And I don’t know where or whether to place it among the Inferno’s circles of hell. All the same, it is a lie, even as you color it white.

I am exaggerating. Truthfully. I believe everyone should have a healthy dose of narcissism. An infatuation of the self. Without it, all these thoughts (and creations) stay locked up. And all the true, the beautiful and the good, don’t get posted or shared. Genius needs boldness. And boldness? Well, you get that from being enamored with the self. I also trust my God doesn’t expect me to write dull and drab. I have artistic license to color the world in majestic hues.

Even so. It’s good to catch yourself sometimes. Right before you fall into a web of lies, and especially, right before you fall madly, wretchedly and recklessly in love.

Money Matters

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Posted on June 15, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

Here I go again, it’s a weekend and my wallet’s empty. I’d like to blame the stars, or the lines in my palm. Money flows. Like water. In then out. And I can’t grasp them. Don’t issue me a credit card. I’ll shred those. That or I’ll drown myself in debt. Ask me to balance my checkbook and I’d give you a blank stare. Actually, let me issue you a blank check instead.

I’m not into Birkins or Jimmy Choos and a diamond’s not my best friend. I expect to be mindful of what I buy. Yet, parade around an Ikat pillow, a hand-woven basket, lapis lazuli on charm bracelet, and my wallet magically empties itself. In spite of curbing purchases to the essential, my essential list is humongous. I am still stuck in the consumer culture. These days though, I buy artisan, vintage or organic.

Only, it’s not just the spending. I don’t know how to earn as well. I work almost completely pro bono. I even feel guilty asking for money owed or inherited. I have epitomized “starving artist,” guilt-ridden when putting value for the work I do. How do I ever expect to earn a living with my work? Somehow, I am perfectly happy if someone else worried about putting food on the table.

Someone once posed a question: “How do you see money?” I answered with a blank stare. It was not polite to talk about money at home. You don’t ask about prices or haggle. When you do, you can’t afford it. You’re meant to think, feel and act like all is well in wealth. And the second anyone brought money up, the illusion of it would shatter like glass.

I also grew up during the glory days of the Negros sugar barons. Money flowed. Like water. In then out. We could not grasp them. Everyone was the son or daughter of a haciendero. Parents stayed at home. You don’t see them toiling for hard cash. There were generations of tenants who would do that instead. Sometimes, our parents would look busy: once a year; during the milling season. The rest of year was spent holding banquets, so they could show off wares.

Throw into that equation, the notion that money is the root of all evil, and thus, outside of sacred work. You don’t want to taint your clean soul with dirty money. Thus, you’re in a constant tug between your purposeful path and the need for bread. And “starving artist” is what you will be. That, or just give money away. Because enriching oneself is incompatible with the ideal of loving another as yourself.

It is among our marriage woes. Tightwad and simple marries pampered, lover of fine things, but won’t work Ilonggo. You thought it would be simpler. Walk down the aisle. Sweep money differences under the carpet. Love and the promise of ever after somehow eclipsed the glaring money differences. And besotted girl, with that ring on her finger, said a lifelong yes to, for better or for worse, merge debt, commingle property, and consolidate spending. Your hands are tied. Together. I said yes to that?

“Money itself isn’t the problem. Money itself isn’t bad or good. Money itself doesn’t have power or not have the power. It is our interpretation of money, our interaction with it, where the real mischief is and where we find the real opportunity for self-discovery and personal transformation.” –Lynne Twist, The Soul of Money

There are subtle ways that money plays out in all of our relationships. It is confusing, conflicted and often destructive. And yet, it is astounding how little thought we give it. Or that we don’t talk about it, especially in our most intimate relationships. How we see money and the control it wields over us, are two sides of the same coin.

I have a complicated relationship with money than I let on. This seemingly flimsy piece of paper holds quite a grip on me. And because I fear it so, I’ve swept it under the carpet. So I stall balancing checkbooks or writing down expenses, afraid I’ve over expended. Hold off budgets, just because I don’t want to feel controlled. And I still won’t talk about it. Do I sell myself short? How do you take money in hand, in happy-ever-after? “We need to talk” should include the money talk. Somehow, this is an inventory I have to make. Begin with simply tracking what I buy in a day. Bring the questions swept under the carpet to light. Or even, just stop the crazed habit of writing out blank checks.

Inspired by: The Soul of Money, Lynne Twist

Money is a current, a carrier, a conduit for our intentions. Money carries the imprimatur of our soul. – Lynne Twist, The Soul of Money

You Have to Take my Word for It

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Posted on June 5, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

Half my mind elsewhere, my eyes on the screen, and I utter: “ok, ok, we’ll do it tomorrow.” And there goes a promise I shouldn’t have made.

You really can’t go back on a word carelessly let out to hush your child. At that moment, days, months and years after, they will hold you liable for the words spoken in jest. Children still trust in the sacred word and that mommy never lies.

Now I wish I could say I have a genuine relationship with words. That I can give you my word and keep them. Because I am irked with people who screw up appointments or evade them. Have you agree to something then casually take it back, or worse, simply forget. Give their word and then just so easily break them. Without meaning to, they treat you and your time lightly. Break your faith. Diminish it, bit by bit.

But I am also guilty of going back on my word. Without the guts to say no, I will give half-hearted yes’s instead. And then delay the inevitable or belatedly back out. Or make promises to myself, declare I will begin writing that book and shelve it. Write words on a To-Do only to mark it as “X” again.

There’s always that temptation to utter words without thought. As though you can go back on your word later. Just like saying “yea” to the wicked witch who wants your future child, because currently your sick wife craves for Rapunzels. Even “roger that” to Rumpulstilkskin because there’s a roomful of straw to spin into gold.

And yet there’s no escaping insignificant yeas and rogers you have made with your children. Or even seemingly trivial yes’s we make with life as it happens. My children will see how much value I give my word. Especially when I betray myself ignoring the commitments I make. Promises are broken the moment they are not fulfilled. You can’t simply carry them out another day. Because, the word you give, seemingly inconsequential or nonchalantly given, is a promise made. And we need to stop taking our words so lightly.

And so tomorrow, I’m going to honor the promise I made in jest. You’ll have to take my word for it.

“I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.” -Markus Zusak, the Book Thief

Drawing the Line

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Posted on June 2, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

A world without bounds. That was my childhood. My brother threw a tantrum and 2 television sets from our second floor. He was met with “Ta (Ilonggo term of endearment) you want a bottle of Royal? And he’s chugging Royal Tru-Orange, his future prospects at hauling and throwing crystal clear. We didn’t have rules or clocks at home. Schedules were according to your fancy. My brothers would chew their food to mash, roll and throw them up so they get stuck in the ceiling. Yet our mom never responded with: “No, you can’t do that.” At 15, I even asked if I could sleep at my boyfriend’s house. She said: “Yes.”

Which is probably why I studied law. There was no telling how I’d adjust to a world of boundaries, having had no experience inside it. Quite honestly, I have a tough time with limitations. Or waiting. Even conflict. Our world was filled with goodness and colored with rose. How do you articulate “No” or endure “Maybe later” when these were not your language? What about consequences? It was almost always, carpe diem. Never mind what happened the morning after.

Twenty years later I am granted the task of raising two girls in a seemingly boundless world. This time and in this home, I attempted to delineate boundaries. Then my mom pronounced:

“I didn’t do that to you, why do that to your children? Your poor kids, they are so deprived.”

And it’s not just mom. It’s the aunt, the in-laws, and the friends who quietly scoff at you wondering what ever happened to the free spirited girl they grew up with. Another mother said this to my daughter:

“What! You don’t have the [must have toy of the decade]? [Her daughter] has plenty plenty toys!” and: “See that, [her lucky daughter] you should be thankful mommy lets you do [this and that.]”

(I could strangle her.) And yet, every mother will have her way with kids. And I somehow, had to pick the road less traveled.

Perhaps my home is fenced-in. It’s a mad world and I want to keep the wolves out! But children are in desperate need of clear-cut boundaries. They need to know you can’t throw television sets or sleep at the boyfriend’s house. And the fences have to be set in stone. Because they will try you. The other night, my little one threw a temper (enough to trigger that blast in the Makati.) She wanted to bake cupcakes except it was bedtime. Began with Bambi eyes, moved to tears, appealed nicely, lashed out angrily and closed with kicking. But the rule had been set. In stone. And understanding that all negotiations and cajoling were futile; she whimpered, sighed and climbed into bed. Asleep in ten minutes.

It could be that my childhood was every child’s fantasy. Except it was chaotic. There were attempts at fences, but they were built with sticks and straw, blown away with a huff-puff. Often, the oldies were the first ones to break the rules anyway.

And that’s another lesson about boundaries. As you patrol your fences, you should never transgress them too. Your rules can only command obedience when you as rule-maker abide by them. And it’s not just with the rules you create. It’s every commitment you make, whether with them, or with anyone else. Imagine how perplexing it is for a child, when we as rule-maker, keeper of bounds, and mother who knows best, renegade on our contracts, the words we say, or say we would do. As a friend says: Be consequent. Your word should also be your bond.

One last lesson on boundaries. Without bounds, there are limitless possibilities. All things are possible, all the time. Yet that made my childhood so unstable. I never knew what would happen next. I had a brother who slept with his shoes. We were constantly anxious about moving homes or losing people. So he wore his shoes to bed, ready for what ever happens tomorrow. As a child, you want to know that one thing follows another. That good things that happen today, will happen tomorrow and the day after. It’s as straightforward as knowing that after you wake up, you shower, and there’s breakfast at the table. Or that when the sun sleeps, it’s time to prepare dinner, or that bed follows a story and a candle. Boundaries will divide the day into schedules and sequences. I had so little of it then. Unbounded, we lived in moments. And they were different every time.

(Disclaimer: I am not regretful about childhood. I’m fond of every bit of it. It’s given me wacky memoirs to write. Except that I want a whole new story for my children.)

Some book recommendations: Stress Free Parenting in 12 Steps by Christian Kutik, A Guide to Child Health by Michaela Glockler, You are Your Child’s First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy

Your Highness

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Posted on May 27, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

She has me all figured out. She even advised my sister: “Mama says no. But ask and ask and ask. She sometimes says yes!” She’s five. You expect your first-born has prepared you to be a mother for life. The first-born is sugar and spice and everything nice. But somehow, the measurements were not as precise this time. The second child has way too much spice, and not everything’s nice.

A book has landed on my lap. It’s Stress Free Parenting in 12 Steps (by Christiane Kutik.) The same principles of child rearing I have studied and pored over countless times. Except this book makes it plain and easy.

First rule: Clarity of Roles. You are the parent. Your child is not your partner, your friend, or boss. The simple rule is: Be her mother. Take the lead. Tell her what to do. You decide.

I might as well hammer that into my head. Because this daughter will play you. And play you well. She’s dazzling at playing queen. And with charm and a magic formula, you will one day find yourself bowing down. Curtsying to her every whim and fancy. And this daughter wields her powers well. Often, you believe all is well because the little queen is pleased.

But the book’s certainly right. My little queen, the younger mademoiselle, gets into fits and fusses about. As though she’s crying for help. “I’m too young to queen. Why do I make the rules when I haven’t yet played this game? Someone please, tell me what to do?”

I see now how my young one craves for full attention. Not the kind that gives her free reign to do what she wants. But the kind where we take the reins and steer their course. Or else, they yell and cry, fearful that those who ought to drive them don’t know the way.

Because the Queen of the castle is you. And while she can, your little one needs to spend all her time playing princess. You pick what she wears, what she eats, even what she is to do today. The world is too grand, too good and too beautiful and she will want everything. You don’t want to torment her with choices at breakfast.

And I remember how the gift of childhood was having everything easy. Child’s play. Everything was decided for you. You didn’t have to agonize over choices. Or live with them. The responsibility was with someone else. Your mother knew best. Take that away from your children and the world becomes too complicated and demanding.

One last thing. When you take the reins or play Queen, you need to do it well. Directions should be precise. Edicts should be clear-cut, including when, where and how. You even have to do it too. (i.e. When learning how to steer a horse, you have to know exactly where to go. The horse follows your gaze and will move depending on how steady your hands are on the reins. Or, a queen’s subjects will only feel secure when the queen bears herself well, and remains poised and calm.)

Most of all, being Queen asks you to be completely present and in control when the princess is before you. You have to look at her, call her by name and tell her exactly what you want. And the orders have to be carried out, no matter how sharp-witted or insistent the princess is, or despite what she does with her eyes.

(While writing this, All Spice was under the table. She had covered it with pretty silk and I thought she was playing princess. Then I heard the sound of bells. With sweet-talk her maid had lent her a phone, and was playing hooky under my table. And now it’s time to hold the fort. The Queen will have to look her in the eye and say: “Domeka, we don’t play games.” Slowly remove the gadget. Turn underneath the table into a castle again. And this should work.)

The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker

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Posted on April 30, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

I saw a Tinkerbell movie. She had just arrived in Pixieland and they had a charming rite to determine what kind of fairy worker she was. She was asked to hold fire, water, air and earth. Every element went poof. Except that the hammer, symbol for earth, magically rose up and danced. They crowned her Tinker Fairy. She was born to fiddle with things, make something new. “Ta-da!” and she knew exactly what to do for the rest of her life.

I wish it were as easy as that. A little song and dance, and you’re told exactly what you came here for. But it is a little different here. The skills and talent show up bit by bit. Sometimes, all of fire, wind, air and earth will rise up and dance for you. You’re often told what you should do. Study for something you thought you fancied, take the job, and then realize halfway, every day is a chore. It isn’t your calling. Or perhaps it is, but exactly what you are to do with the gift, you don’t know. I would have settled for Harry Potter’s Sorting Hat. At the onset, you know whether you belong with the good or the bad, or the group no one remembers.

Except, I’ve seen the blessed few. Their job is their calling. They rush to work as though they’re off to rendezvous with the love of their lives. My husband talks about farming with so much passion you’d imagine he’s fallen in love with his prized cow. And it must be love, because he believes dung is manna from heaven. And I just came from a Country Fair, with its awe-inspiring artisans: the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. They were beaming, despite baking under the sun and explaining their wares all day. You see alchemy made real, as they make soaps and oils. And I must have spent all our profits, buying all things embroidered and hand-stitched. Then, there were tireless performers, beating drums or celebrating music. They danced and they were on fire. The job was the calling.

I reckon, a country fair and Disney have these to say about meaningful work:

While we cannot have a Sorting Hat or hammers that rise and fall to crown us vocations, we will have some inkling of what to do. When the job is the calling, it feels right. Every day is just a delight (think falling in love or beaming despite the hot sun and silly questions.) Follow your gut. When it doesn’t feel right or when every day is a chore, it’s not yours. Forget the paycheck. Your heart and gut will show the way to real bonuses, even save you from misery.
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker have something to show for. It’s definitely not the moola. It’s the outcome of what was thought, felt and fashioned out of their hands. Like breathing life into clay. Add to that pride and fulfillment. Like that doll maker who ecstatically took a picture of the threadbare, well-played doll I bought from her last year. Or that exhausted chef who suddenly beamed when someone said they just had a bite of bliss.
Happy workers stand for something larger than themselves. They recognize they have been bestowed gifts, and so they give something back. Reciprocate. Like the mother who felt it was her calling to sing and dance, so that children can find their own beat. Because imagine the pay-off for having some thing to give the world. Or having the world, despite its 7 billion unique individuals, needing something from you.

And so, for the rest of us: the ones who are not butchers, bakers or candlestick makers; who can’t drum, sing or dance with fire; who don’t have Harry Potter’s Sorting Hat or pixie dust, I hope this list helps. Here’s hoping you can “Ta-da” yourself into knowing what you’re to do for the rest of your life. I’m still WORKING on it.

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives- Annie Dillard

She sells Seashells by the Seashore

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Posted on April 11, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

You are surprised at how an expanse of shore and turquoise waters could have fended off the invasion of resorts, tour guides or even just a peddler selling Chippy. But there it was. Less than 4 hours of bumpy winding road off Puerto Princesa and you find not just a patch, but and an infinite strip of immaculate white. And you can stroll the 14-kilometer stretch with your solitary footprints disturbing the sand. There’s nothing else here but sea, sand and salt air. I combed the beach and didn’t spot plastic. Jutting rocks didn’t flash the typical Jhon loves Jhen or reek of urine. Every islet we hopped was untouched, with only fisherman huts and a 360 degree ocean view. And at dawn and dusk, I could delight in fishermen assembling their nets or bearing the day’s catch.

I wish I could keep that immaculate white shoreline a secret. I chanced upon a similar beach in 1986. Twenty years later, commerce had mutated its waters to a mucky green and they were peddling pearls, 3 for P100. This time, I don’t want to scare the bayawaks, clip the wild fern overgrowth or see more heads than sand. But they are constructing an international airport a few kilometers off best-kept-secret. And already, forest fern and bayawaks are making way for roads.

Government will tout it as ecotourism: ecological conservation along with economic growth and the empowerment of local communities. But business and conservation are incompatible in my side of the world. Our kind of eco-tourism brings the most number of paying tourists to the least patch of sand. How will fragile and pristine fare after millions of meals eaten, toilets flushed, milkshakes blended, blinking lights till after hours, tricycle rides and air conditioners? Everyone’s taking pictures AND leaving footprints the size of islands.

We build perfect havens that run 24/7 on non-renewable energy. They look exactly like the city, except that you see blue vistas with sand in between. In time, the locals learn the trade, throw away their nets and put up bangketas instead. They will offer their land to displace themselves outside beach paradise. Everything will have a price (even when you unknowingly have kids convey you in a tub so you won’t wade in filthy waters.) And no matter how sophisticated tourists are, there will be wrappers to dispose and poop will need to go someplace. Fragile and pristine will not survive too much development. You will have algae in your waters, plastic in your sand, and the stench of urine reeking in rocks.

Government and Environmental Protection

Our regulations and laws on environmental protection are vague. They have conflicting provisions, overlap in jurisdiction and are difficult to implement. Best-kept-secret will probably encompass two or more local governments and be under the administrative rule of two or more agencies. There are conflicts in land use and tenure. And they never know who implements what. Enforcement is costly too. Attempt to ask a government body for environmental protection and they will ask you for a budget. I don’t blame them. Why spend your allocation on things that no one would see? Who gives a hoot about the ocean floor? Or the future lives of unborn children? Politics will demand you build a Pasalubong Center instead. Lastly, there’s a wealth of benefit when a big investor decides to build a perfect haven on your beach. And you earn brownie points when laws and regulations magically turn liberal for investment.

The Local Community

And while government and investors squabble or get pretty chummy, environmental and social losses swell. The fish catch will dwindle. There will be algae in the shores. The fisherman will pack up his hut to settle elsewhere. Sons and daughters will forget to fish, but peddle or master massage instead. They will figure out that tourists dish out extra for the biggest catch and will pay premium for a coral necklace. Big investors will disremember their promises to reinvest profits in the community, choosing to reinvest in themselves instead. And your pristine blue and powder white ecosystem is degraded, your coastal community exploited.

Eco and Tourism

As we said goodbye to my best-kept-secret, a friend exclaimed: “I’m so happy we came. I don’t think we can ever return to it again and have it the same way.”

We don’t get to keep our fragile pockets of paradise. Business is seemingly at odds with nature, this side of the world (where we are blessed with 7101 pockets of paradise).

But I know it’s been done. Humanity and nature, co-existing. Harmoniously. Stewardship is the tall order we get on the first chapter of the Bible. And we’re supposedly infected with biophilia, an innate bond between humans and nature. I have seen three small resorts do it. But they’ve kept their havens small. Managed their numbers. It’s a delicate balance between economics and ecology. Yet tourists pay a high premium to visit these fragile and unspoiled pockets of paradise. No lights at night. Mosquito nets. No escape to the sweat and the sand. But there’s a turtle hatching just outside your door. And the water is perpetually crystal blue.

I wish I could keep a secret. With no one there, there won’t be any footprint to a 14-kilometer sand strip. But the reality is they are building a tarmac to paradise. And I only have my pen, a fair amount of griping and some faith. I wish I could hang on to an expanse of shore and turquoise blue waters. Or even just ensure they won’t be peddling Chippy.

We are the transformers of Earth. Our whole being, and the flights and falls of our love, enable us to undertake this task. Rainer Maria Rilke

What are we doing today Mama?

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Posted on April 4, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

It’s that time of the year when I panic. School’s out and along with it, the steadfast rhythm of a pleasant waking up, dropping kids off, having an entire day to myself, and then just-enough-time to engage them before dusk till I tuck them in at night. It’s just-enough-time so that everything’s wonderfully orchestrated, and there are no burned out mommies or bummed out children.

But it’s summer and the pleasant waking up has been succeeded by the challenge: “what are we doing today, mama?” As though I had nothing else to do but keep them occupied. The dependable cadence of everyday has just gone off beat. And the mama is in a funk. I had evil thoughts of making a break for the city, dispatching them to any summer camp, or shipping them off to the grandparents. And then there was an hour devoted to inquiring about summer classes every day of the week. Just so I could have my rhythm back and perhaps, yaya, camp counselor, teacher or grandma, can do the work for mama instead.

There are plenty of empty hours to suddenly fill. And my children are still young enough to mind me. I’ve been allowed an interlude of a school year, and conveniently forgot what days were like when children stay home all day. It would be much easier if I could pin up a poster:

Frazzled and panicking mother. Looking for a summer class/camp, play date, or neighbor. Willing to work the entire summer. Min requirement: A nurturing environment that will support a child’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual development.

What am I expected to do when the book says: purposeful work in the morning? My purposeful work is not tidying up the house or preparing breakfast. The maids do that. I’m on the screen and typing! Do I give them the screen too? That will entrance them into submission. Guarantee my dependable everyday because certainly, television will do mama’s work instead. How do I keep them occupied so they don’t imitate mother glued to the screen all day?

Here’s my attempt at a Striving Mother’s Plan for the Summer (thank you books and fellow moms.)

Strike out the school-day rhythm. Ample time by myself, that won’t happen. Endeavor towards an on-vacation rhythm that can bear my everyday yet allow the kids a regular structure too.

My 5 year old goes to my bed every morning asking me what day it is. She’s memorized what days are like on Mondays, or Tuesdays, or her favorite, Saturdays. I suppose when she knows what happens next, she’s less nervous. When I bring her to an everyday rhythm, I don’t hear the panicky voice or the whining (well, not as much.) And she goes about her day confident, more trusting about the world. And if you still don’t know, rhythm is the magic potion for discipline.

But I’m neither rigid about exact time nor dogmatic about having to do exactly this or that. Having regular activities that flow smoothly into each other (like inhaling and exhaling) is the key. Without some structure, everything just spills out: overflowing schedules and a flood of frustrated tears.

Allow myself time by sharing the parenting adventure with like-minded others.

I almost went all out with this rule. There was a sweet temptation to fill their days with summer classes. Ballet, cooking, swimming, art, equestrian, fencing, these were all ripe for the summer picking. But I couldn’t shake the feeling it was another cop out of conscious parenting. Overburden them with activities so I could salvage my time. And what happens when I fill up their days with people instructing them what to do? There’s a whole lot of pressure in perfecting a pose or doing the right stroke. And if I use up hours, I’d be taking them away from learning the lifelong skills of climbing rooftops or refining the talent of playing Rapunzel from our attic window.

My way out were friendly neighbors + 2 guided activities for the summer. Thank goodness for neighbors who share my same ideals (i.e. they would have answered my ad.) We trade in the adventures of parenting. So it doesn’t feel like full time (even when it is). And as you’re not overwhelmed, you cherish the precious hours when the kids are with you. Especially when you know you can work out a trade, in case the adventure gets tough.

I’m not a playmate but they certainly need help fixing the fort.

I don’t have to play with them. But I also cannot have them loaf around my study, or have television enthrall them everyday for hours. They will unfailingly ask me: “what are we going to do today, mama?” And so every morning I’m bringing down baskets for the morning’s play. They might get sticks and stones, but somehow, they will know what to do with it. Or I would have to pause from work to mix paint with water and bring the paintbrushes out. I will have to do Filipino style for purposeful work. The cook will learn patience as my little ones chop carrots with her. The maid will learn to leisurely walk the dogs with two girls in tow. And the gardener will learn to work with two headstrong helpers who will mess up his perfect flowerbeds. (These will grant me time for my purposeful work of pressing keys.) After nap, the gates that lead outdoors would have to be unlocked. And then, before the sun sleeps, this mama will deliberately end screen sucking, so I could teach underwater somersaults, have my 7 year old learn to break on her bike, and so that summer memories would be of canoeing at the lake.

That’s the summer plan. Imperfect and certainly, with hits and misses. Still, I’m hoping there’s no need for perfectly orchestrated just because school is out. All a mother really needs is a confident and unruffled reply to everyday’s: “what are we doing today mama?”

Dearest Top Two Newspapers of the Philippines

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Posted on March 21, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

I wake up everyday for coffee and your newspaper. And just today, you had me almost choking on breakfast. What was going on in your HEADquarters that you chose to tell us stories of the politico turned Romeo and her enamored Juliet or that the President’s more-famous-sister is fleeing from overt sexual advances. For a front page? And, with the entire width of your newspaper wasted on a stunning picture of cooing lovebirds, skirt fluttering with the wind, misplaced in beach paradise. Or that the other prime newspaper also remembered to waste space on the warring couple in good times, and of course, with the backdrop of beach paradise. Come on! You had your pick among so many compelling, life-and-death, and pressing stories! There are over 3000 people fleeing Sabah! And isn’t it simply heartless (no pun intended) to position underneath picture perfect, in bold black, your headline that 8 Filipinos were charged and could die in Malaysia? Or pray tell me why I need to be apprised of more-famous sister’s domestic problems? If you were desperate for something a little more exciting, you could have opted for the Pope or Obama in Israel! Anything but “Total Eclipse of the Heart” or “Please Stay Away.” Yes, please stay away.

I wanted to laugh because really, I thought you were trying to play one (oh two) big jokes days before April Fools’. But I don’t want to just snicker, be smug and go about my day, especially since you already ruined breakfast. Because if these are the news of our times, there’s something gravely wrong with our country. Is that the image of this nation? That we hunger for stories of forbidden love or an ex husband’s sexual advances? Just because they are famous? You spell, in a big way, the cultural spirit of this nation: who we are as a people. You are a mirror for the Zeitgeist, the spirit of our times. What ever happened to pride and excellence in reporting? Do you reckon Filipinos so lacking in dignity that we would rather revel in stories about Romeo, the opportunist and poor Juliet, the victim of a political campaign, or lap up on a story that the President’s more-famous-sister, is so desirable she needs the law to protect her from her ex-husband! You are playing on the lowest of our instincts, on what is sensational and of course, what makes the most for commercial success. Perhaps it could make for a box-office and it’s especially a perfect plot for a telenovela. But I picked up the newspaper today not wanting to go straight to your entertainment page. Yet, you gave me entertainment on the first page! Maybe it makes you popular, that’s how you get to top two newspapers right? Just the same, please try a little caution. Top rankings carry top responsibilities. Temper it down. Not on the front page, and please not on half of your newspaper. Exercise restraint. You are playing with our minds, and you’re slowly shaping the nation’s culture. The reading public is not (yet) that disgraced and hopefully this nation’s culture is not all instinct and pleasure. We do fancy stories of the Filipino Romeo (just not in those shorts!) And would like to be apprised of what happens in the President’s more-famous-sister’s house. But, we definitely don’t want it with coffee for breakfast.

Suit Yourself

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Posted on March 11, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

A few weeks ago I had to explain myself at the dinner table. Someone had exclaimed how I’ve managed to throw away potential and a promising career, to settle for housewife in the boondocks. Imagine where I could be, had I held on at the country’s most prestigious law firm. But having no propensity for hard work and billable hours, I’d thrown away the distinctive title of Partner and with it, the right connections. “But I don’t want to be successful being someone else.” And, “that’s someone else’s calling” I told him. Because after the elation of being accepted to The Firm, it was so glaring I didn’t want to get up everyday to be that Partner or eat on that table hobnobbing with the right connections. It just didn’t feel right.

But the appraisal made me miserable for a day and took me to the past. So now I’m looking at old photographs and journals, wondering whether I was someone else back then. Why I had decided on and yet abandoned in my critic’s words, “so much potential?”

I was a carefree 20-year old law student living in a posh neighborhood without having to pay rent. Quite a pampered existence, courtesy of parents who imagined they could bank on a lawyer 4 years hence. But the signs were there: notes and diaries so unlike the legal doctrines I had to memorize in the shower. There were short stories about the ocean, poems on love and betrayal, and musings on God’s unquestionable existence. Cropped hair with an excuse to wear short skirts. And no need for suits except to hide a tan so the professors wouldn’t think I was a bum. I fancied a Bohemian lifestyle and yet was studying to be a bourgeois lawyer. Wanted beatnik and yet was devoting hours learning to be conformist. How could I have been as mixed up as that?

Maybe I wanted a guise of conventional. I had a father who was drunk by lunchtime and a mother who was the epitome of Beatnik in her generation. And everyone expected the love child to fail. And so maybe, growing up in a Boho world, you want to prove conventional wrong using conventional standards. And of course, there’s the idealism of wanting to save the world, in a fancy suit. And so a law degree it was. I had chosen to play by the rules.

The world gave me a yardstick for success and I tried measure up to it. And one could get pretty good being someone else. Still, it never felt right. And my own signposts were there. The only things worthwhile at work were free lunch and Friday clubs. Or that we were so close to Greenbelt. Weekdays were spent clocking for the weekend. And there’s also the feeling of indigestion every morning. All these, no matter how fancy you look in a suit, 15^th month pays and the chance of winning a refrigerator at the Christmas raffle. And especially, despite assuring yourself: that the Partner looks dashing hobnobbing with the right connections. Who ignores telltale signs like so? You see yourself living a half-life waiting for weekends and breaks, and you hang around? Isn’t that selling yourself short?

So maybe that’s what I should assure him, that critic who certainly meant well and thought I desperately needed help. “Please, stop fretting about me. I’m not a miserable housewife in the country.” The prestigious suit doesn’t suit me. Denim shorts do. And I fancy my everyday. It’s got whoops of joy and a little purpose. And I’m not feeling indigestion every morning.

“But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?” Albert Camus

When Nice Meets Her Dark Side

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Posted on February 19, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

I’m such a doormat.

But one day I just had it. No more Ms. Agreeable. Someone had flipped the lid and I was tired. There were at least 10 things to do that day and there was only 1 thing for me. Everything else was a favor, pure benevolence, a good deed, just so everybody (else) is happy. I was over-extending myself and I was exhausted. And, I was resenting the very people I was supposedly making happy.

I don’t want to go there, do this, and yet and always, had already said yes, or maybe. And I could never tell you “you just ruined my day,” or “my life.” And especially: there were these never-ending requests for a letter, an affidavit, a legal opinion, anything that needed to be written, the ghostwriter was me. And do I even get enough dinero to buy me coffee while I write? Of course not. I’m doing everybody else’s work on just warmth and a smile. The Jesuits might have excessively hammered their mantra on me, as I was overtaxed being a woman for others.

So here I am today, exasperated, and writing with madness. Am I too damn nice? (Yahoo a cuss word!) I’m saying No. No. No. And writing it a 100 times lest I forget.

To the relatives and friends that keep asking me to write or do things for them, I’m politely saying No next time. I’m not a practicing lawyer. There’s “cut and paste” for your written work just don’t forget to quote. And those small favors are so small you can do them yourself, really. Or, will you please remunerate me enough for coffee and the loss of precious time while I’m at it? I’m not trying to ruin relationships or be rude; I’m just giving value to time. And, as much value to me as I give you myself.

If I don’t want to be there, I won’t be there. There will be no backing down. I will not owe you my time when it’s for things I am not interested in. I’m not being harsh, I’m just standing up for me. Taking control of my time.

I won’t take on projects I don’t want to. I can’t be doing everyone else’s work anymore. Those are your dreams, and I should start working on mine.

When you’re nasty, insensitive, or unkind, I won’t let it slide. Not anymore. There should be no excuses for behavior that hurts. So I will (if I’m not holding back tears) tell you so. (You’re probably saying, “Yea right, you are.” But I’m writing this a 100 times lest I forget!)

Finally, I will stop feeling guilty, worried and anxious, for these scary No’s. The chronic pleasing has to stop. And I’m drawing up boundaries for agreeable and nice. (I should start a Niceaholics Anonymous. That would be a project that’s all mine.)

And so here we go again. Take 2. I’m such a doormat…

Oh, the Places You’ll Go

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Posted on December 27, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

“Out there things can happen, and frequently do,
To people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew.
Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!” Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go

I had to walk for almost an hour. And my three words for the day: Equanimity, positivity and open-mindedness.

You see, I live in the boondocks and unless you have a car, nearby civilization is at least 4 kilometers (in my head). It took me 50 minutes. And I never walk. Couldn’t even run 1km.

Picture an enraged wife, fuming over someone’s negligence, rambling on an endless road. Because just to prove a point, that I was quite inconvenienced and my entire day’s plan ruined, I huffed and puffed and walked all 4 kilometers.

Yet. You can’t rant and rave or curse under your breath without an audience. You’re all alone stomping and there’s no one to watch the drama. And so you feel absolutely stupid. Add to that the backdrop of a forest (yes, there’s a forest where I live) and feathered friends. I was being serenaded. Chirps, trills, a hoot, chirrup, and, the wind, in tandem with the leaves, was playing percussion.

And so the rage had to end. I was furious about someone’s indifference, and yet here I was mad at the world, oblivious to singing trees and a bird symphony.

There are a great deal of things that meet you when you walk for 4 kilometers. Especially when you’ve been carted off on wheels your entire life.

Those appendages you call legs are absolutely amazing. You suddenly notice how wonderfully it carries you, its throbs and twitches, and the thankful sigh of limbs long underutilized but for showing off a tan.
There’s beauty absolutely everywhere. Everything moves. Everything sings too. And I was blessed with a sunshade of clouds (it was about to rain but I’d like to think it held up for me). I saw sky blue overhead and not the gray stretch of endless road.
There was no gas to step on and hasten things. I was unhurried. Time slowed down its pace, strolled along. Had my chariot been there to carry me, I would have been lost in thought, running after time, with 100 things to still do. But today, there was nothing to do but walk. And notice. So this was what leisurely felt like. And somehow, it is not about getting from place to place. There was something to do here. Right now. On this road.
I savored the in-betweens. I welcomed the wait at the bank. It was the time of rest for aching legs. Any other day and I would have grumbled, restlessly moving back and forth, dying to do the next thing on the list.

And so here I am an hour later, contentedly munching on my burrito. When you’ve walked for miles with birds for company, everything is a treat.

Perhaps we should shush rage and take blunders (like people forgetting keys to the luxury chariot) as an opening for magic.

Perhaps everything (blunders included) are just being in the scheme of things. Trust the boo-boo. Otherwise, I’d never take that road. Nor would this piece ever be written.

Perhaps we should take heed of the roads we are on, even when they are long and lined with mulch. They can be filled with splendor, the kind that dances and sings.

Perhaps you could actually bid time to take it slow and grant you leisure.

Perhaps there are delightful things to do too between destinations. And life happens now.

Perhaps if you paid attention, trees do sing, birds do serenade, clouds will give you canopies and rains won’t fall until you reach safe ground.

Oh I would have really enjoyed a reason to flip out and be right when Mr. Dreamy returns home tonight, my keys in his hand. And yet now, I’d have to thank him for 3 Steiner exercises* and 4 kilometers of heavenly gifts. And I’m certain he will wonder what in heaven’s name happened because suddenly, all is well. (Despite an hour’s walk and tired feet.)

*Three Steiner Exercises:

Equanimity. Quiet reactive emotions.

Positivity. See the positive aspects of everything, and make the best out of every situation.

Open-mindedness. Be open to new experiences and ideas, never letting expectations based upon the past close your mind to the lessons of the moment

Title borrowed from Dr. Suess

The World in a Plate

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Posted on November 7, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

“If more of us valued food and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a much merrier world.” J.R.R. Tolkien

Thousand Gardens in Africa Project

And so began merry. My otherwise unquenchable appetite finally had its fill. My senses were filled to the brim with tastes and aroma, and an abundance of color and sound in several languages. It was so overwhelming I panicked. I was being handed the entire world in a plate and my plate was too full. But there on my plate was culture and gastronomy in its vivid and authentic state. “Devour and digest everything slowly”: I told myself. I would be there for days and there was no sense hurrying a “SLOW Food” market. There should be enough time to behold, sniff and savor. And so, my palate savored one country after another, sampling food in its extraordinary diversity, ingesting the pleasures of the planet. There were figs from Afghanistan, baobabs from Sri Lanka, spiced coffee from Egypt, black salt from Russia, couscous from Palestine, and flower concoctions from Mali. I had to try the citrus wine from Croatia. And I couldn’t count the number of times I dropped by the Provencal 45 nougat flavors booth. They had stacks of nougat with Inca berries and dark chocolate you can buy by the kilo. I had never tasted nougat so soft; you could actually sense the kneading that came it.

45 Flavors of Nougat

The entire world’s cuisine was there for me to devour. Belarus had wild fruit. There were dates from Al Jufrah in Libya. Slovenia had herbs I didn’t know existed. Portugal had some dried flowers and figs while Uruguay asked me to sample their chilies. Then there was Motal, cheese in terracotta, ash and beeswax from Armenia. By the time I inched my way to Ecuador for coffee, my stomach was about ready to give up. But I had to try Huehuetenango coffee from Guatemala; it was in the “top 10 things to try” list. That one burned my tongue. Too bitter and I couldn’t find the promised hint of chocolate. I had to sample two more Joes, one from Costa Rica, another from Nicaragua. The coffee was too sharp or maybe I wasn’t quite the coffee connoisseur I thought I was. Then there were the salts from Iceland, so queerly and delightfully flat. I had to sample every bit. Smoked salt would be delightful on the next steak I would grill. I bought those, and added the white onion salt, that would be delish on my fish.

Paper-thin Flavored salts

We dined on forgotten food and tastes: raw milk cheeses from small dairies. The stench was awful, the taste divine. There was meat from native animal breeds and the Euskal Txerria pig and my husband doted on the Basque jamon. We even sniffed and sipped wines from grapes long forgotten and rediscovered. Now my taste buds have been elevated to be partial to the Sangiovese grapes. There were still 1000 wines to experience at the Enoteca and I had a workshop to sip 5 different Lambrusco wines fermented inside the bottle. If I had to write about all the ales, the birras and the hops I got to try, I won’t be able to end this article. And let me not start telling you about the chocolates or the cheese. These artisanal products, I had an abundance of.

Artisan Cheese from Raw Milk

So on to the sausages. There was a pretty girl in a costume from the Slovak Republic and men were lining up to sample, the sausage or the beauty, I don’t know. I finally got a shot of Cachaca from Peru, the drink my brother-in-law once raved about on a tour to South America. The Peruvian man who insisted I chugged his 40% organic corn liquor and I couldn’t quite understand each other. But the hand signals and the alcohol were easily understood. And I kept drifting back to the Domaine a Lafitte booth. They had Armagnac brandy aged in oak barrels this was one drink I definitely wanted to understand.

Sausages!!!

Our (Philippine) booth had a culinary offering (courtesy of Margarita, Tricia, and Monica) as well. We had overbooked tables as diners feasted on Adobo, Sinigang, traditional mountain rice, lechon and suman. These and they we’re serenaded hours on end by the ethnic beats and Igorot moves of Django and Manny.

I am now home with a bounty of dulce de leche liquor and Polish honey wine, the rose, cypress and poppy chocolates, lavender jams, Armagnac brandy, truffle crèmes, salted butter and pistachio pates, spicy pork and flavored salts. And, I, finally understand humanity’s perennial obsession with food.

Food is immensely rich as it is full of wisdom and pleasure. Every bite is a history and a story. And each person’s, each country’s, and each region’s identity lies in their food. Sample a simple dish from Norway and you are somehow linked to the Fjords and its past of salting herring. Imagine how every wine you sup is a memory of a place, of the seasons and the heat and the cold it had to go through, of an entire landscape, or the exquisite taste of a single vine. And isn’t it fascinating how one can go places, relocate and live in another place, but will always hunger for the tastes of home?

7 continents, 1 table

Rushing through all the trappings of modern life, we forget how rich and vivid food tastes like. Everything is fast, often cheap, even easy. But food is so much more than just the food we gobble up. It can be an entire culture and whatever we chose to consume, spells the life or death of animal breeds, seed varieties, or even a small farm or community. And now I know why eating should be slow: unhurried in the way one delights in it, and especially in the way it gets to the plate. It is only when we see the wisdom and rewards of eating will we realize how much is at stake at the plate. And I say anew, “if more of us valued food and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a much merrier world.” J.R.R. Tolkien

And so, have a merry feast!

My Walden

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Posted on September 19, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

Company and drinks. Two things I miss about city life. And, that: a missed item on my grocery list was just right across the street; I had immaculately clean legs without bruises or bites; I could forget to lock my flat and not worry; or keep my windows open without fear of alien looking creatures in my room. Now I suddenly have to be skillful at assembling rattraps and memorizing the lifecycles of mosquitoes.

And yet.

I wouldn’t trade unblemished legs and would yield to having a rat as a house guest, for: the indulgence of quiet; the sapphire sky and the kingfisher; the morning bird call; spent minutes on a bike picking flowers, or digging dirt and watching shoots grow; and my daughters’ firsts, first fish, first bike, and oh, the ampleness of time and space. I’m just beginning to know where certain birds live, how they call, and which ones frequent my window every morning. And then, there was an owl outside my house. Now I know why we think them wise. They look enlightened, like grandmothers and advice. There are wild pigeons and ducks on the road. I’ve been startled daily, by a freaky bug I’ve never seen, a gargantuan spider, or two birds in rapid flight.
Everything moves here. I’ve gaped at a little mouse nibbling the vines on my hedge. I’ve seen leaves jump down from trees. I’ve been stopped on my tracks, by a family of golden birds I yet have to know their names. Just yesterday, there was a black and white-spotted butterfly unhurriedly opening and closing its wings as if in a sort of dance. I can tell time now by the sun’s shadows. Or smell the rain a mile away. You should see our perfect canopy of stars at night. And we’ve been feasting on bananas from the front yard, have pickled our first papaya, and I can finally learn to make chili paste and jam from the garden.

Everything’s richer and fuller here. Colors are not muted, you can almost breath the trees, fancy that you begin to hear nature’s secrets, and especially experience time. As though days stretch for you, granting you more spaces to fill. No longer a luxury, the time is there. And suddenly, everything has a story to tell. And suddenly, you can catch the words.

Well, I do miss the city. Company and drinks, most of all. But I find that there are things here I could no longer live without. And so I should stop pinning for a night out in the city. Start learning rattraps instead. Or memorize the lifecycles of mosquitoes.

September 19, 2012

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Diet Dictum

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Posted on July 10, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

Seems like every conversation now includes a discourse about diet and health. Someone’s on this diet, another friend lost 40 pounds, what to eat and not eat, and whether I follow Primal, HGC, Cohen, vegan, or raw. “What diet are you on?” And I honestly don’t know what to say because I have a hodgepodge of sorts. I have rules, which I often break anyway. I don’t count calories, measure grams or make non-negotiable lists. And I might even have an excess of coffee, chocolate and red wine.

But these are my guiding principles:

1. There is no one true “diet.” Just with everything else in this life, your body is unique, and so while one is blessed with fast metabolism and slender genes, another has to try a little harder. Read through all the literature about health and nutrition. Find the diet that is true for you, really understand it, and then shape up. Don’t follow a diet because it worked for someone you know. You will be on it at least 3 times a day for the rest of your life, you should at least know why.

2. Eating should be a joyful experience. It shouldn’t make you feel bad. Or guilty. Or afraid. If you see certain food as sinful indulgence, you will always crave, be tempted to eat, give in, and then relentlessly repent. And the cycle will go on.

3. Food should nourish you, make you glow, put a twinkle in your eyes. So, you have to be happy with the diet you pick. For example, eat healthy because you love it, not because it keeps off the pounds. Otherwise, you’d be walking around mad at the world everyday because it deprived you of chocolate.

4. Don’t obsess about it. When you are obsessed about every part of your diet, you lose the joy in it. There are some people who claim to follow the healthiest diets on earth, but they look so frail with dark circles under their eyes. They get obsessed about every ingredient and snap when they can’t get this or that. (No wonder they look like that.) I don’t want to be them. I want the glow and rosy cheeks, not be a stick with gray skin.

5. You don’t have to pay a lot of money to know that you should be eating a lot of vegetables (Hint: biodynamic vegetables especially), avoid sugar and processed food, and get good protein. (Hint: pasture-raised meat.)

6. If you eat when you’re hungry, and begin to stop starving or depriving yourself, the bingeing stops. So will overeating. As your body knows it will be nourished every time, it won’t find the need to gorge. And how ever can you sustain a very restrictive, lower than required calorie diet? The day you go off this diet is the day you will overindulge because you felt so deprived for weeks, months on end. (Also, eating so few calories a day is dangerous. When the body is starved for calories, the body’s metabolism slows down to preserve energy. And then you’re in big trouble.)

7. Once we start equating food with “shoulds”, it becomes dogma. And who wants to eat dogma? I have had enough of that elsewhere. Food ought to be joie de vivre. Of course it should be. It’s what you put in your mouth. And there has to be butter, chocolate and wine in that equation. Although not exactly measured.

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”

“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”

“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.” ―A.A. Milne

Clearing out Sentiment

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Posted on June 27, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

We’re moving to a new home and I just realized I am a sentimental junkie. Found boxes of memories, stashed away in my cabinets. Years of greeting cards, ticket stubs, restaurant napkins, birthday candles, crumbling rose petals, a beat-up carousel, gummy balloons, even my daughters moth-eaten horse puppet. Who keeps these things and what was I thinking? What birthday was I celebrating, what did I toast to, who was the man I loved? Add to that the folders beside my table, crammed with my children’s artwork: sticks, spirals, and today’s portraits of me in rainbow dresses.

The Sentimental Junkie’s To Do List

Sentimental clutter. Somehow, I imagined that if I kept the fragments conserved somewhere, I could keep the magic that was that moment. Years hence open it and have a whiff of a memory once more.

But what’s so great about a movie stub? Or a budging envelope of travel keepsakes I haven’t even peered at in 7, make than 10 years! Anyone going through my clutter will definitely throw them in the trash without hesitation. I should know better. Objects are just objects. But what happens when an object becomes part of a history? We’d pay thousands for Michael Jackson’s scruffy glove right? (Oh yeah, he is Michael Jackson.) How did I ever decide that a Paula Zayco moment in time could be ascribed to a napkin? Is the memory forgotten if I finally threw the disintegrating napkin in the trash? Would I rather keep the memory alive in a song, or poetry, or here, on my screen, and not tucked away in a box somewhere? I thought opening the sentimental box would create magic anew. And yet years later, it doesn’t happen. I am not in that moment at all. The past isn’t relived. Magical moments I guess you can’t keep and uncover in boxes.

Still, there are actually mementos that should be kept. Because I truly can’t imagine a life without sentimentality, or the objects that represent them. Nostalgia will make me keep the butterfly puppet I worked on for days for my daughter’s first birthday. Or the one letter that told me I passed the bar. Those I could keep, not in a box, but to cherish or share. These are the treasures I would rescue and bring with me in case of fire. This was going to be my rule, painful as it may be. If the keepsake wiill seemingly be kept in a box, stowed away in the attic that means it is junk and not something I want to keep. Seriously, I wouldn’t have the time to look at those cards, ticket stubs and letters again anyway. As for the rest, I’m going digital (will photograph the objects I want to remember I bet there’s an app for that) or trashing them. And then I just have to constantly remind myself objects don’t have magical properties. The memories inside my head and felt deep in the heart will do. I really don’t want so much baggage this time. And I will need lots of free space for my new moments in time.

“I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues”

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Posted on April 11, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

“Mister!”, he said with a sawdusty sneeze,
“I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues,
And I’m asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs” –
He was very upset as he shouted and puffed –
“What’s that THING you’ve made out of my Truffula tuft?” -Dr. Suess

I don’t get it. Why cut pine and Alnus trees to build a parking lot? Are they attempting to remake the Counting Crows “they paved paradise and put up a parking lot” song? And, yet we’re not just paving Baguio. Our mountains and beaches, our rivers and lakes, our tremendous biodiversity and wild creatures, everything that other less-endowed countries would fiercely protect, we have paved to degradation. Pristine beaches, two of the worlds natural wonders, the most biodiversity in the world, even giant creatures casually dropping by our waters, and yet: we pour concrete on mountain trails; paint “Jhun love Mhel” on rocks; make sewage out of rivers; erect makeshift stalls that peddle everything from frog keychains to fake bags; tie up and ride whale sharks; build resorts atop fragile ecosystems; and fashion life-sized statues of Disney and dinosaurs, as if the mountains, the waters and the sharks were not enough. What is wrong with us?

Have you been to Baguio, the city of pines? There’s neither the sight nor the scent of pines but concrete and smog. Where’s the view at Mines View, because all I see is a market and horses with pink hair? What is it about us that we have to turn everything into a market or a circus? Oh, we find it so cute that our kids ride on them, and we take photographs too.

Have you been to Boracay? I was and didn’t swim at all. All three days I spent mourning the demise of old Boracay where the waters were sapphire blue and not overrun by foul-smelling algae with flies. Can you imagine how much leaching to the sea happens from overflowing septic tanks (if there are sewage treatment plants at all!)? There ought to be an outbreak of hepatitis and gastroenteritis, these might drive out the swarm, serve nature well. (If you don’t know: excess sewage that flows directly to the sea stimulates the growth of algae.)

What about all the facilities that make it a luxury vacation? We don’t see it when they destroy mangroves and reefs to make way for roads, a nearby airport, marinas, and your room with the view. Look at SM. 182 felled a.k.a. earth-balled trees to pave the way for a parking lot and an entertainment center. Well, come to think of it, we love malls more than we do the outdoors.

And then there’s the hiking up the mountain to see not one but 2, 3, even 7 waterfalls. But I’m yet to see a mountain resort without graffiti on the rocks. What is it with the “Boy was here!” scribbling? Why show off your dirty crime? And what about packing after your merienda? Our trails are dotted with sardines cans and Chippy wrappers. We once hiked up Mt. Makiling and lost count of the candy wrappers we picked on the trail.

And just as we like to eat, we like to feed animals as well, from adorable tarsiers to the novel hand feeding of gigantic whale sharks. What happens when you tamper with the wild, when you alter feeding patterns, or take them out of their migration routes? Visit Oslob and we now have wildlife nudging boats, begging for food.

And there isn’t anyone watching out for what goes on below either. So much trampling happens underwater. As a country with the most biodiversity in the world (in the world!), we take our multicolored reefs for granted. But I’ve seen many go bonkers over the site of a tiny nudibranch or a Spanish dancer. Can we just stop selling or buying corals and cowrie shells as souvenirs?

Why do we would bite the hand that feeds us? You don’t even have to do the math to understand the economics. Preserve the natural environment and you draw tourists. Having an unspoiled natural wonder increases its value, so it then becomes your largest source of income. Instead of lugging tourists around paved walkways (oh boy, they even carry you in Styrofoam boxes so you don’t get wet!), distracting them with wares or obscuring their views, why not leave it all up to raw, wild, and glorious nature? And because you will have their undivided attention, tell them about the folklore, where places get their names, natural cycles, kingfishers, slates, sea stars and banyan trees. It didn’t take much incitement or prodding for my kids to adore the sea, or dote on the endangered spotted deer, even understand how you can grow worms for birdfeed. All I had to do was bring them there.

Yes there are still a few patches of unspoiled paradise with daring stewards here and there. I enjoyed Coron (7 years ago), Siargao, Siquijor and Isla Naburot, have a high regard for Danjugan Island, the School of the Seas and Siliman University, even admire how organized Donsol is now. I’m pinning my hopes that someday, we can see perfect coned mountains, our sapphire waters, the spotted gentle giants, even our verdant pine trees, for exactly for what they are worth. Until then, tourism will choose creature comforts at nature’s expense, so one day you’re swimming in sludge, captive in a strange paradise of pink horses and domesticated sharks, with a parking lot for a tree.

*Pictures posted here are not mine.

SUMMER ARSENAL: Some au naturale tips against the summer’s scorching side

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Posted on March 26, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

JELLYFISH

Jellyfish stings cannot be treated with pee. Really. Instead, the urine might even make it worse as it causes the nematocysts (the stingers that jellyfish leave behind on your skin) to inject more venom into you.

Best natural remedy: Wipe with a towel and rinse with vinegar.

The trick is to remove the nematocysts without triggering them. Water and urine may trigger them so the best way is to use sand or a towel to remove the tentacles without touching. I have even removed the tentacles with a shell. (Touching with your bare hands may result in more stings!)

Then rinse the area with vinegar or if that’s not available, use saltwater (not fresh). Note that this is the remedy for box jellyfish (not Man of War or other deadly jellyfishes.)

SANDMITES

If you’re sitting by a beautiful sandy shore and suddenly find yourself itching like crazy with tiny red welts on your skin, chances are, sand mites have attacked you. You can’t see them but I assure you, they are there.

Best natural remedy: To get the itch out, soak the skin in a bath (oatmeal in the water relieves the itch). A natural way is to make a paste of baking soda and water and applying it on your skin. Or use Aloe Vera: just pull leaf off the plant and dab the gel on your itch-ies.

SUNBURN

Sunburn DOES NOT fade into a beautiful tan. If you burn your skin and nature will definitely not reward you with a tan. Instead, you get freckles, sunspots and wrinkles, (worst, you’re on your way to skin cancer.)

Sunburn happens because your skin is inflamed from the ultraviolet rays you have just soaked up. Some natural ways to boost your skin’s reaction to the sun is to load up on antioxidants.

Best natural remedy: They say antioxidants raise your sunburn threshold. So eating your bright colored vegetables (and red wine of course) might help. Still, you should always wear sunscreen! My picks: Healthy Options has Nature’s Gate, Jasons and Alba Botanica, some alternative sunscreens you may want to try. For kids, there’s also Earth’s Best and Badger’s you can get from Rustan’s. Also note that there is no sunscreen that can block all 100% of the sun. Your best block is still a hat and clothes! SPF 30 cuts out 97% of the sun while SPF 50 cuts out 98%. So, actually, we don’t need to buy more than 30SPF.

To treat sunburn, cool off with Aloe Vera or I read you can soak a washcloth in milk and make a cold compress. One thing I have done is to soak in a tub with baking soda and also by putting cucumber slices on my sunburn.

SUN-DAMAGED HAIR

Hair can get too much sun exposure and get dry or even break. Another culprit is chlorine or saltwater.

Best natural remedy: Some people like to wear a hat or a ponytail. You can put some coconut oil on your hair or a leave-in conditioner. But after a day spent in the sun, what you can do is put some olive oil on your hair. You can even mix some drops of rosemary or jasmine oil. Leave it for an hour or so then wash it off.

MOSQUITOES

The bugs are definitely out and about this summer. Here are some secrets: You can ward off mosquitoes by taking a shower and wearing light colored clothes. Really. I heard mosquitoes are attracted to sweat and dark colored clothing.

Best natural mosquito-repellant: Don’t sweat. Wear light colored clothing. Use plant-based repellants. My best bet so far has been citronella oil mixed with coconut oil. (A formula: 25 drops essential oil + 2 tbsp. coconut oil.) or buy a good natural repellant (just make sure the blend has about 10% citronella oil.) I always like the oil-based ones rather than the spray. Other essential oils that help (even repels ticks) are eucalyptus and lavender oils.

A good local insect repellant brand is Bug Off made of coconut oil, citronella, lemongrass and lavender. I have found the bottles at EchoStore and also at Sesou Nature Source. To help with the itch, I use Weleda’s Combudron Ointment. But some natural remedies are: rubbing garlic on the itch, aloe vera gel (again!), or squeezing juice from a lemon.

A good Summer Aid Kit: Vinegar, Oatmeal or Baking Soda, an Aloe Vera plant, Olive and Coconut Oil, and Essential Oils: Citronella, Lavender or Jasmine

(Information from years of a beach fetish and Whole Living magazine)

Why Farmers Live Forever

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Posted on March 2, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

The rickety Karumata

A bumpy Carabao ride, trees filled with the promise of fruit, pigs romping in muddied pools, dragonflies I couldn’t count, a gulp of milk from cows we milked ourselves, and feeding the ducks, that was our morning. It was granddad’s 82nd birthday and Wowo had spent his morning at the farm, up before everyone else. I was wondering why so. On my birthday, I would skip work and perhaps do something special. But, as he did every day all his life, granddad started his day to the rooster’s crow, taking in the scent of cows (and dung), and walking the entire stretch of his farm, jubilant, just like his fruit trees bursting with flowers. We followed him to the farm, my daughters and I riding the “Karumata”, a rickety wagon driven by a carabao, because one farmer thought it was too far a walk for our feeble city legs and we couldn’t take icky mud. First stop was the pigsty. The pigs had just moved to a new romp and rollick pen. In the world of pig, this was the castle of your dreams.

The pigs had two mud pools, wide open spaces, rich green grass and an expansive backdrop of sky. Although, my 4 year old kept asking me what happened to them after they had “pigged out.” To which I said: “shh.” (After all, one greedy pig ended up on my father-in-law’s birthday buffet.)

We found their grandfather 2 hours later in his hat and boots, cheerfully romping around in his version of castle. I was watching him from afar, in awe at how at 82 he could still hike up his entire farm, steep, lumpy and muddy in places, with just a walking stick for company. Not to be outdone by an 82-year old cowboy, we ditched our very bumpy ride to stroll with Wowo. We walked for another half hour, surrounded by Mango, Guava, Pomelo (too many trees I couldn’t name,) and alongside Mother Goose and Jemina Puddle Duck. Wowo stopped a few times to cackle call the hens and ducks, who amazingly came waddling, patiently waiting for breakfast. The sun was scorching when we got out of the trees. But there were still cows to be milked and Wowo had promised my girls they were going to feed the ducks together.

Domeka's eyeing this pony.

Enjoying their stroll

It was the perfect birthday for their cowboy and gentleman grand-farmer. The trees were full to bursting with yellow flowers, there was abundant grass for the cattle, the milk was flowing, the pigs were enjoying their swimming pools, and the ducks just had breakfast. My 4-year was now strolling around with a stick, mirroring her granddad. She was at her best self, because Wowo promised her the brown colt we just passed. My 7-year old proudly declared: “Mommy, I’m going to be a cowgirl when I grow up.” Perhaps my children understood as only children could, what was left unsaid but deeply felt. Here was a contented man who lives, as he ought to. As himself. Working his passion, doing what he loved to do, not an hour or two a day, or just on the weekends. Here was someone spending his everyday “surrounded by cows and china.” (Thank you Charles Dickens.) Which brings me to this conclusion: Flossing, sunscreen and watching what you eat won’t get you to 82 and still able to walk for miles in rough, muddied and uneven ground. Waking up to a rooster crow, breathing in fresh air, working the land, and doing exactly what you love, everyday for the rest of your life, is the only age-old secret you need. (That, and of course, and beautiful grandchildren to feed the ducks with.)

At the hen (and duck) house

Bad Food Gone Good

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Posted on February 22, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

I thought I’d write a bit about misconceptions about “bad” food. Politically correct nutrition says these are the food you shouldn’t be eating. I dare-say these are actually food you SHOULD be eating. Really, not everything that tastes wickedly delicious is sinful.

Butter

Myth: Butter is dangerous. It causes chronic high cholesterol levels. Anything that is tastes exquisitely divine should be bad for you right?

Truth: The French were right. Good old-fashioned butter is good for you. It has in fact always been a staple, valued by countless traditional diets.

Why? Butter is your best source of fat-soluble vitamins A, D, K and E. Vitamin A is actually best absorbed and utilized from butter than from any other source. These vitamins are “catalysts” or “activators” that utilize the minerals we ingest. Butter also contains anti-oxidants, everyone’s favorite health word. In fact, “it is a rich source of selenium, a vital anti-oxidant–containing more per gram than herring or wheat germ.”

Best of all, that butter makes you fat is a misconception. “The short and medium chain fatty acids in butter are not stored in the adipose tissue, but are used for quick energy. That’s why butter makes you feel full and satisfied and you don’t need to crave or binge after.

*And research does not actually support the claim that butter causes high cholesterol. “Stearic acid, the main component of butterfat, actually lowers cholesterol!” (Weston Price Foundation, “The Skinny on Fats”)

2. Eggs

Myth: Eggs are high in cholesterol and bad for your heart.

Truth: (Disclaimer: only for free range poultry): Eggs contain dietary cholesterol. The culprit for raising your blood cholesterol and giving you heart disease is not really dietary cholesterol. It is a number of other factors in modern diets like your excess consumption of vegetable oils and refined carbohydrates. Trans fats are bigger culprits in raising your blood cholesterol. Not only that. Eggs “constitute the most complete, nutritious and economical form of animal protein available.” (Nourishing Traditions, Sally Fallon)

3. Red Meat

Myth: full of saturated fat and dietary cholesterol and bad for the heart.

The truth: Lean beef, and beef from grass fed or pastured cows are a low-fat source of protein and iron, essential minerals that will help get oxygen from your lungs to the cells in your body. Pick meat that is a deep red (not bright red) color with very little fat or marbling. Chances are these are lean and or raised with little or no grain.

4. Chocolate

The myth: fatty and filled with sugar. And of course anything that tastes wonderful should be bad right?

The truth: Dark chocolate is the key. It contains antioxidants that seem to help with blood-thinning, another good thing for your heart. “Researchers in Switzerland reported that eating dark chocolate (1.4 ounces of it) every day for two weeks reduced stress hormones, including cortisol, in highly stressed people.”

5. Coconut Oil

The myth: High in saturated fat and hated by those who diet.

The Truth: Not all fats are created equal. There is good fat and bad fat. Truly. Coconut oil is made of medium-chain triglycerides, fats that can be metabolized faster than the long-chain variety found in other oils like sunflower. “They’re rarely stored as fat because the body prefers to use them for energy,” says Jonny Bowden, Ph.D., author of The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth. Good saturated fats such as those you find in coconut oil, animal fat, (butter, lard, tallow) are the carriers of fat soluble vitamins A, D, E and K, and are needed to convert carotene to Vitamin A. Good fats will also help your body incorporate calcium into your skeletal structure, protects your liver from alcohol and toxins (yes that’s why they say eat oily food when you drink) and enhance your immune system. Lastly, these fatty acids have antimicrobial properties that protect you from harmful microorganisms in the gut.

Now here are some health food you should be wary of.

Sources:

http://www.eatingwell.com “Bad Foods you should be eating”

http://www.menshealth.com “Junk Food that’s Good for you”

Sally Fallon’s Nourishing Traditions

Photo from: http://blog.soliditytrade.com/dark-chocolate-prevents-damage-from-strokes/

Spilling the Beans: “Health” Food you should be wary of

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Posted on January 31, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

Granola Bars

Granola bars are loaded with fat and sugar! That is why they taste good. Check out the nutrition label because maybe the sugar and calories are about the same as a chocolate bar. Most of them contain saturated fat, additives, artificial colors and flavors too.

Fruit Smoothies

Ok so it’s fruit but wait, check out the amount of sugar syrup they add to it. You might as well drink soda. My rule: the sweeter it tastes, the unhealthier it is. What you can do is ask them not to put sugar syrup in your smoothie.

Dried Fruit

Banana chips, dried pineapples or dried mangoes, you think these are healthier alternatives, right? Again, because of the drying, much of the sugar of the fruit is now concentrated (thus, higher in sugar than fresh fruit.) Some of the fruits’ nutrients are also lost during the drying. Worst, most of what we have in our supermarkets have been further sweetened with sugar.

Commercial yogurt

Yes, yoghurt, the one you buy at the grocery with all those yummy flavors may not be as healthy as you think. Again, they add too much sugar to make it more appealing. Just make sure that when you buy your yoghurt, you check the ingredients and nutrition label (or maybe make your own.)

Frozen yogurt or yogurt ice cream

Most of the frozen yogurt you see is just plain sugar. The ingredients? Fructose, dextrose, maltodextrin, non-fat milk, yogurt powder AND of course, probiotic! That’s sugar+sugar+sugar, commercial milk, powder and to make it yogurt, some probiotic in it. It’s not at all a healthy snack but junk food. I think you’re better off eating ice cream. Really.

Vegetable Oil like corn, sunflower, soybean or canola oil

Well, first, it is because corn and soybean are among the most genetically modified crops. Second, these hydrogenated oils contain high levels of trans fat. The “hydrogenation” process is what allows these oils to be solid at room temperature so they can be sold as margarine or shortening. Hydrogenation is also what destroys the oils’ fatty acids, turning these acids into trans fat. Lastly, corn, sunflower and soybean oils contain over 50% percent omega 6 and small amounts of omega 3.

Tofu

The reason why I am so wary of tofu is that most tofu is made of genetically modified soybean (and I can never tell whether it is or not.) It is also not low in fat as most people think. In fact it is 54% fat, more than most meats. I still eat tofu, but in very little amounts.

Commercial pasteurized milk

The modern milking cow has been injected with growth hormones and fed with soybean meal (instead of green plants.) The soybean meal stimulates them to give more milk but has led to sterility, liver problems and shorter lives for these cows. Aside from these, pasteurization destroys helpful organisms in milk (such as lactic-acid producing bacteria that protects against pathogens.) It also reduces the milk’s mineral components (calcium, magnesium, potassium, etc.) The heat also alters the milk’s amino acids and destroys vitamins (such as Vitamin C and B12.) Lastly, pasteurization destroys ALL the milk enzymes. Yes, because the test for a successful pasteurization process is the absence of enzymes! These are the very enzymes that help the body assimilate calcium.

Sugar-free

There is nothing natural in Nutrasweet! It is artificial sugar. Aspartame is a neurotoxin that has been associated with health problems and when it is digested, it breaks down into, among others, methanol. Splenda is actually chemical chlorine. Then there is Stevia, the natural sugar substitute. However, did you know that this controversial natural sweetener has been banned in the EU?
http://www.cspinet.org/new/200808281.html

Fruit juice concentrate and vitamin water

Always read the label. Concentrates, energy drinks and vitamin water are often loaded with sugar, almost as much as soft drinks. Check if there are additives in it. Make sure there are no added high fructose corn syrup or other high-calorie additives. According to Sally Fallon, “there is as much sugar in a glass of orange juice as there is in a candy bar and most of it is fructose, more harmful than the sucrose of sugar.”

Some information taken from Sally Fallon’s “Nourishing Traditions”

*BIG Disclaimer: These are MY personal thoughts and opinion. I am not a medical doctor or qualified health care professional and not writing as such. Please make your own health care and nutritional decisions.

Sowing Patience

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Posted on January 4, 2012 by oysteronahalfshell

I might have just unearthed a perfect lesson plan for patience. Definitely not by example. I grew up in a city where everything moved fast. It seems like the only waiting I had to do was wait for next week’s episode of Alf or Small Wonder. But then that too vanished with Betamax tapes. And so a mother who grumbles at the slow pace of things could not be the patience exemplar.

Trying to harvest rambutans

Because lately I have had to grumble some more: about food this time. I grew up buying food at the grocery. You ride your car, grab what you need, (you don’t even have to bag them!) and then run home for a pleasant meal, several courses too. Fast food and the drive-through were my generation’s ingenuous development. Now twenty years later, we are in the food business. Not grocery. Not fastfood. But the very slow-moving, plodding, “let nature take’s it course,” biodynamic farming business. And so let the worms nibble on the dirt, forever turning the soil, let the organic matter leisurely bake under the sun and decay under rain, and worst, follow the sowing calendar. It’s your biblical “there is a time to reap and a time to sow.” And the tomatoes we planted four months ago? I tried the first handful just last week.

And so here I am complaining about: why we could not have baby carrots for months and why next week there will be no French beans but an overabundance of broccolini; that the raw milk has been missing for days; or that on Christmas, I did not have enough red roses for all my friends’ trees. I wanted the tomatoes growing soon after they were planted. Or at least, consistently give me enough for pasta. And I thought really, how can we tell a customer, “it’s out of stock?” What about their weekly grocery list? And what will I tell the friends who ordered bright red roses for Christmas because we had tons of them last year!

My kids with their Wowo and Dad Farmers

But farming is patience. (Inhale.) And I have to grasp that bit of it. (Exhale.) Delayed gratification. Our farm, and the novel luxury of growing at least 70% of our food is teaching me more about patience than 16 years of Catholic school. Waiting. Patiently. Without drumming your fingers. It’s a long time between sowing the first seed and the seedlings creeping up. A seemingly endless time between the buds peeping and when you can pick them. You can’t just pull up carrots until they are ready. Before that, there’s the tedious business of preparing beds, composting and mulching. And then, you’re at the mercy of rain and sun. (Not to mention weather that has now gone wacko on us.) And finally, the seemingly endless dance of nature will give you a bounty of delectable gifts, because you hung around. Patiently. Without drumming your fingers. And I wonder if the waiting titillates the tongue, fires up the tummy, or gets yummier with anticipation. Because the bounty is often worth the wait. You relish the tartiness of that little vegetable more, or the crunch of that leafy green, as you had to wait for it to grow, in its own SWEET time.

So you see, I might have just uncovered a perfect way to teach my daughters patience. It might ward off boys and teach “waiting for the Right One.” It is tough trying to make them (and myself) value and be amazed by unhurried time, by minute changes as days pass and nights come, by the deliberate ripening of life. Because this world does not make us wait for things. How will we have the patience to wait for seeds to germinate? For buds to burst forth? Or only to pluck when they are ripe? We live in the world of Internet and text messaging. And we don’t even have to wait for episodes of a TV series, we can download entire Seasons!

So I’m going to bring my children to our farm more, dig dirt, sow and reap instead of exercising their nimble fingers in front of the screens. The farm will teach them how to linger, how not to have everything here and now, how to work for something and be responsible for it, that seeds die when you don’t nourish them, and especially that the soil won’t sprout them a new one in seconds. Who knows, they might even learn to appreciate the toil and trouble it took to bring that green leafy thing they don’t want to eat on the table.

“Life on a farm is a school of patience; you can’t hurry the crops or make an ox in two days.” Alain, Henri

Internet Yin Yang

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Posted on November 7, 2011 by oysteronahalfshell

I am slowly turning into mouse potato. Sucked into the screen, oblivious to time and space. An hour online (or so I thought) and yet an entire morning has ticked by in the real world. Sort of like stumbling into the wardrobe closet and finding yourself in Narnia. Only, it’s the reverse. Time shuts down at the screen. But it goes on in real time.

I have attempted too many times to curb Internet use. Mornings only. Not. Unplug by 4PM. Sometimes. Because there’s always something I forgot. A miniscule thing I have to check. And wham, a little peek becomes an hour, and then I’m drawn into the vortex again. Worse, I have lost all powers of concentration. Computer-deficit disorder. Somehow, I can no longer stay focused on one page. Even do just one thing, at a time. (Honestly, are you still able to read a long book without distraction?)

But why is the Internet so addicting? Maybe it’s the capacity to connect to anyone, at anytime. Perhaps it’s the abundance of information in a second. Probably it’s the gossiping, the peek into everyone else’s lives, or their thoughts, their perfect tagged smiles, or even their food. Or possibly because someone, somewhere is finally paying attention. Maybe. But I believe it’s certainly about this one place where everyone is seemingly free. No boundaries. The closest thing we can get to a real democracy. Where money does not rule. Where there are no protocols or rules of conduct and no one to tell you you’re not fancy enough, affluent enough, pretty enough, or even grammar-worthy enough. And everyone’s just like everyone else.

“On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog” -Peter Steiner

You see, never in my wildest dreams did I think I could read Alain de Botton’s thoughts. Or that Paolo Coelho would follow me. Or that I could study almost anything, without big business or government screening what gets on my head, or my plate. Even that I could write to Time Magazine and have them post my comment for the world to see. And that I could think out loud and have hundreds read them. And that maybe, I might have found a wormhole to change worlds.

So how does this work? Where do I find the Yin and Yang of it all? I reckon, the challenge is to sift through the Internet bounty and separate the wheat from the chaff. Also, to keep the humanity despite the machine. For example:

The nonsensical games are the virtual black hole. So are the countless links. Stop tripping on them. These are the absolute time warps.
Treat an inbox as you would have a mailbox. Check it but once a day (ok, twice.) Just do not check in every hour. And please stop bringing out your Blackberry when you’re out having dinner with friends.
Facebook and Twitter should mimic real life. You don’t hover over someone else’s life the entire day. Or endlessly sing yourself praises.
Make your own boundaries in a world without bounds. We often hide behind the mask of anonymity, mistaking brashness for courage. I have read too much hate posts online. That, and way too much information: like what you have for dinner, everyday.
Take time to dive through the Internet gunk slowly. Some emails and articles should be pondered on, digested and absorbed, not skimmed through.
Spend more time in the real world, however imperfect it may be. Unplug when your children come home from school. Connect with friends and family you can actually hold.
Constantly be in awe and respect the enormity of the power that now lies in your hands. You no longer need pigeons or a plane. Make sense of every connection made, however uninvolved it might be. Your integrity is your word. Speak your own truth as best you can. Especially now, because the entire world might just read it.
And remember, the virtual world has no sense of time or space. Log off and all virtual time will cease. It waits for you. And all your spaces stay put. It’s the same space next time. Log off from the real world and real time persists, leaving you behind. It does not wait. And that expanse that was your life is never the same again.

So now I take off my Mouse Potato hat. Surely it will be where I leave it for next time. Logging off. To catch up on time. Get on real spaces.>

Dis-Ease

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Posted on November 2, 2011 by oysteronahalfshell

I woke up one day to bullfrog eyes and hives all over my body. Every crease in my eye was exaggerated as though there was a magnifying glass to it. That, and little red splotches all over. Like a polka-dot bullfrog. Only, it wasn’t Halloween yet. I was having an adverse reaction to a powerful dose of antibiotics I took the day before. Thank goodness I skipped the last dose. That would have turned me into a spotted English bulldog that cannot breath.

(Diagnosis: I should have listened to my hunch and avoided a tough dose of Clindamycin.)

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not against antibiotics. They can save lives, especially fatal infections. But as with most magic medicine, we often take it to excess, pop it at the sign of a lingering cough, or some fever. Antibiotics are now the most frequently prescribed medication! And suppressants and painkillers, the pill-popper’s favorite. I have had too many arguments with mother and MIL. They cannot understand why I wouldn’t give my children cure-all antibiotics when they are seemingly dog-tired and coughing their heads off. In the same way, I cannot comprehend why they insist on antibiotics for a virus or a sore throat.

(Sickness 101: Antibiotics do not work against virus, only against bacteria.)

I am cautious about antibiotics for a cold, cough, flu, even a fever. Honestly, why use the magic pill when there’s a strong immune system that might even do better. You call them antibodies and they can actually annihilate harmful bacteria or attack infection. I would only take antibiotics if (1) the infection were serious; and (2) my doctor strongly insists despite my insolence that I have to take it.

Why am I so dubious about antibiotics? Well, for one thing, they are not so smart. Antibiotics cannot distinguish between good and bad bacteria, so they end up eliminating both. Trigger-happy medicine. Antibiotics will get rid of ALL the bacteria in your body. And so they destroy the beneficial bacteria we need- little helpers that actually aid digestion, boost our immunity and rid us of toxins. Like fighting a war with no sides, taking children and women too. So just in case you really have to take antibiotics, take Probiotics after, drink Kefir, or eat yoghurt to restore your body’s beneficial bacteria.

Secondly, antibiotics are quite flimsy. The more you use them, the more useless they become. Bad bacteria will begin to resist antibiotics with too much use. They’re also fussy. You have to take all doses at about the same time and complete them for days and weeks. And worst, while at it, you can’t even take a glass of wine. Now, who wants that?

Lastly, there are a whole bunch of alternative remedies you can try to attack bad bacteria or ward off an infection: warming teas, cold compresses, massages, simple water and plain old rest. Then there are homeopathic remedies. Voodoo medicine. That’s how my best bud calls it. (And yet, when he’s sick, he asks me if he could have some of it anyway!) I have nursed my children (and myself) through high fever, terrible sore throats and debilitating flu, with nothing but voodoo medicine, unending compresses and a dose of faith. Of course there’s always the temptation to reach for the fever suppressant when the thermometer hits 39. I even wonder whether I’ve turned witch-mama as my child looks at me with glassy eyes, a red nose, and talking through coughing fits.

But there is a certain knowing, instinct, and intuition that tells you to trust the magic of your own beautifully designed body. Your body will always endeavor to bring back the balance in the imbalance. Disease is exactly that: DIS-EASE, a lack of ease. Healing is exactly that: from the Germanic root “HALE” meaning “making whole.” And often, pain and sickness have been my informant friend, telling me what I am doing wrong. Why suppress that?

And again, please don’t get me wrong. I am all for conventional, allopathic medicine. What I want is informed medical intervention, not chronic over-medication or a quickie relief. It is more sensible to take responsibility for your own health, rather than rely with reckless abandon on others, expert or not. I have suffered more pain by needless testing and more weakness taking medication I didn’t need anyway. Sometimes the panic and anxiety (and perpetual waiting at the emergency room) makes me sicker. I was intimated by the doctor I never saw in the delivery room. She told the resident I needed extra-strong antibiotics on the expert opinion that I MIGHT develop an infection. Even my alternative doctor thought that maybe I needed it. And so, going against my own reason, I took the pill that gave me bugged-out eyes and polka dots. Which gives me an idea, I should take Clindamycin for Halloween.

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Just in case you want to learn more, a good friend Jake Tan wrote a book: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Healing-Ourselves-from-Medicine/194827963898595 and there’s also an upcoming workshop on healing.

(Disclaimer: this article was not written for marketing purposes. I just thought this Workshop and Jake’s book are a great complement to my article.)

Green Wash

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Posted on August 21, 2011 by oysteronahalfshell

Everyone’s jumping on the green bandwagon. Seems like every brand in the grocery store is now green, “eco-friendly” and filled with “natural goodness.”

The Philippines does not have a strict labeling system. While we have the Bureau of Product Standards and the BFAD, their mandatory requirements fall short of what consumers should actually be told. BFAD only requires manufacturers to write: name, ingredients, net content, manufacturer and a telephone number for complaints. A Nutrition Info Table (which is also misleading) is only required when there are nutrition or health claims. For organic products, the OCCP is the organic certification body. They do have a training and certification program. However, the use of the term “organic” for food packaging is not strictly regulated. In fact, there are numerous local “organic” products in the market but only a few actually certified by the OCCP.

These (what I think) are the most abused labels:

1. “All Natural” and “Natural”

There are no standards for the use of these phrases. And so manufacturers follow the market trend and label their products “natural.” The standard? A semblance of any fruit or vegetable. It does not matter whether these “natural” substances have been chemically processed, are food concentrates, or heavily induced with additives. Products that contain reconstituted vegetables or fruits and high fructose corn syrup are on the shelves posing with the “Au Natural” label. Candy and boxed cereals have colorful pictures of healthy (smiling) fruits on them. Anything that has a teeny drop of fruit or vegetable in it is now “Natural.” Even Knorr Pork Cubes is on the “Natural” shelf because it has itty-bitty pork in it, never mind the MSG. Instant Pancit Canton proudly labels “No artificial preservatives added.” Even yoghurt is now green-washed. Read the ingredients and except for some Lactobacillus and bits of fruit, it’s all calories and sugar.

2.Healthy

Now this is pure marketing genius. Sexy actress sipping the beverage with the tagline: “for a healthier you” and you’ll have people drinking themselves silly with sugar. Look at the popularity of sugary drinks, now being marketed as having “freshly brewed tea leaves.” The most common deception is to highlight just one or two benefits, without disclosing the entire package. Think “for a healthy heart” and a picture of an old couple in tai chi poses. Or boxes with children and rosy cheeks, reciting A to Zinc. The claims are not approved by the BFAD and there is no scientific proof to support their claim.

3. High-fiber

High fiber is another misleading label that I didn’t quite understand. But I read about it and found out that while fiber can come from traditional sources like whole grain or vegetable, it can also come from inulin, maltodextrin, pectin, gum or other purified powders. Read the ingredient list (you might have to use a magnifying glass.)

4. Sugar Free

I was deceived too many times by this claim. My stepfather and father-in-law are diabetic and so sugar-free options were supposedly the choice for them. But these are often made with artificial sweeteners. And it’s not even the lesser of two evils. For example, Splenda, Nutrasweet, and anything with aspartame are quite controversial and have been linked to cancer.

5. No transfat

I say be wary of this one. Often, if you really check, it may have 0 trans-fat but loads of saturated fat and total fat elsewhere.

6. Organic

Now this can just be “fibbing.” There are a lot of traders passing off their products as organic. Unlike the US, we do not have strict organic standards and labeling is not being regulated. In other places, you need to put the percentage of organic ingredients. You also have to make sure that the land where the produce comes from has been without chemical fertilizers for a number of years. And you can only use USDA Organic if you meet the standards. It seems like the requirements here are that you think little or no synthetic inputs were used and that there are no food additives. It’s mostly self-regulation and the label organic is easily abused. You also never know if the products have genetically modified ingredients.

No one really knows whether the farmers actually comply with the “organic” standards. I have passed by market stalls selling organic produce, and I wonder how in the tropical world did they manage to grow those vegetables organically. Locally grown, big and robust red peppers and large salad tomatoes are for me, not organic (unless they have found a magical way to grow them in our tropical climate.) You simply cannot grow them like that here. Well, unless under strict growing conditions and roofing, which only a VERY few farms have. (Or maybe we just don’t know how.) I have also been to an “organic” strawberry farm. They wouldn’t let us enter the neighboring patch because these had just been sprayed. But this other patch, they said, “it’s organic.” As if the wind of chemicals won’t drift.

But seriously, until we’re able to regulate the use of the organic label here, it’s important to really know and trust your farmer, your trader, or the manufacturer selling his/her organic products.

7. Pasture-raised- This one is not yet common but I do think it will be one day. Most animals will be raised with some pasture but with a lot of access to grain. As of now, there is no requirement on how much percentage of pasture is needed to properly label a product pasture-raised. The animals can also be fed antibiotics or injected hormones. Similarly, there is no standard for grass-fed. The only requirement is access to grass during its life. There is yet no restriction on the use of antibiotics or hormones either. For me, true grass-fed, even pastured, should be fed grass from start to finish, and without antibiotics or hormones.

8. Eco-friendly, Environmentally-friendly- This is easy. Color your bottle green, use earth tones, rustic fonts, and put images of trees, leaves and butterflies. These alone will do the trick.

But you really cannot blame companies for doing their utmost to market their wares. (I actually jumped on the bandwagon too.) And maybe they can indeed put pretty pictures and color their boxes green, even highlight the good about their products. But I do hope the white lies, the deception and fibbing stops. More than these, the most prudent thing to do is to be a more conscious consumer. Read the label, and then the fine print. Be informed. What is high-fructose corn syrup? What good is an artificial sweetener? What about enriched flour? Why the tiny font on ingredient list (I actually cannot read some!) Who am I supporting by buying this or that?

And I’m not saying you can’t eat anything else but. I still enjoy Choc-Nut. I would give in to potato chips. Some spicy food just won’t do without Coke. I can’t say no to Boy Bawang. And there’s always the Pancit Canton temptation after a hang over. Eat your Boy Bawangs and Choc-Nut, but eat it (with gusto) KNOWING that you’re feasting on finger-licking good MSG and insulin-spiking sugar. I’m all for informed choices, healthy or not. I just don’t want you proudly slurping on a “freshly brewed tea” sugary drink deluded into thinking you’re on your way to a healthier you.

Eat what you Sow

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Posted on August 11, 2011 by oysteronahalfshell

So I guess farming is now in vogue. Growing up I was embarrassed when I had to write “Farmer” under Father’s Occupation. I wished then I could write something more lucrative, like lawyer or doctor, businessman or banker. I guess that’s why I became a lawyer and then married a farmer.

After I had my children, wholesome food became an obsession. Since we lived in the city, hours away from my husband’s (then only a flower) farm in Bukidnon, I had to rummage about markets and buy expensive organic produce. My farmer husband saw my weekly grocery receipt and went bonkers over the absurdity of buying expensive food we could grow ourselves. And so begun our venture into biodynamic vegetable farming.

Fast forward to three years hence and I’m a (hopefully) healthier eater. It’s liberating when you know exactly where your food comes from. I think the best tasting food cannot be bought at any price. Of course the best tasting salad should of salad greens picked straight from your garden. (Here’s an article I wrote for our Farm Blog: Starting your own Kitchen Garden.) But living right by the farm or a having an edible kitchen is still a dream. And maybe one day we can have restaurants with lists on which farms supplied what, or grocery stores that tell you exactly where the butter was churned and from what milking cow. But until then, I am contented getting my food from our own farm in Bukidnon or getting produce from my trustworthy farmers (now friends.) Knowing where my food is from (well at least most of it) gives me some measure of control over the quality of food my family eats and what businesses I support. I rely a lot on my list of farms. They are the farms I would trust my children’s tummies with.

VEGETABLES/FRUITS: My rule for vegetables and fruits in order of preference: (a) biodynamic; (b) organic; (c) local and indigenous. I get them from:

ISIP Center, Palma corner Manalac Sts., San Isidro, Makati

ISIP can text you a list of the available produce every week. Order by Sunday: 09209831329. Market Day is Tuesday
http://isipphilippines.multiply.com/

ISIP is almost like a CSA. Reimon Gutierrez, our dear friend, got several farmer friends together in one market so consumers can have access to wholesome produce and buy it in one place.

Greg Kitma: Has been growing biodynamic vegetables in Baguio for years and also holds biodynamic farming workshops. We’ve been to his farm too. Greg grows a lot of highland vegetables like carrots, yacon, cabbage and leeks.

Kitchen Herbs: Gejo is also a friend and grows biodynamic herbs and specialty vegetables in Silang, Cavite. He has a great selection of herbs, sprouts, micro vegetables and salad greens.

Prado Farms: This is Reimon’s own farm in Lubao, Pampanga. We have been there a few times (it’s not only a working farm, it’s also a destination. You can even arrange for lunch there.) He grows lowland vegetables (the kind you can assemble your Pinakbet with), herbs and some fruits.

ISIP also offers biodynamic brown/red rice from Bios Dynamis managed by another friend, Betsy in Kidapawan, coconut sugar from Coco Natura and also free-range chicken and eggs.

Holy Carabao

Weekly Deliveries can be arranged. Call Annabelle for inquiries at 09398828722.

They deliver P50-200 charge, Free delivery within Makati (min. of P500)

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Holy-Carabao/220493567990748

Our good friends Gippy and Hindy Tantoco own this lovely farm. You can visit the organic/biodynamic farm (and a Fun Farm for kids too) at Sta. Elena, Sta. Rosa Laguna. Holy Carabao sells lowland vegetables, herbs, and some fruits. They also sell biodynamic rice, milk, cheese, honey and fruit and vegetable juices. I get my hormone free Goat’s Milk (brand is Aussie) and Feta Cheese from them. Their Green Tea and Lemongrass Tea is also my wonderful substitute for the sugary Iced Teas we have in the supermarkets.

Then there’s us: DowntoEarth.

We deliver Th-Sat if you order by Wed. Call 632-7528826 or 0922-8165147. We are also at the Salcedo and Legaspi Markets during the weekends.

http://www.downtoearth.ph

We grow biodynamic specialty vegetables, micro and baby vegetables, salad greens, herbs, sprouts, and edible flowers. You can get a weekly vegetable box too.

Our bestsellers are our Mesclun Salad, french beans, baby Arugula and micro radishes. For a complete list see www.downtoearth.ph.

POULTRY, MEAT and PORK

Pamora Farms
http://www.pamorafarm.com/contacts.php

Tina is a good friend. She and her husband Gerard have been raising free-range chicken (French breed) in Abra since 2000. They also have homemade pates. You can buy Pamora Chicken and free range eggs at MOM, Legaspi Market on Sundays.

DowntoEarth

This is us again (well, it’s hard not to love your own brand). We sell Grass-Fed Beef, organ meats, and Pasture-raised pork. We also have smoked meats like additive free bacon, tapa, jerky, ham and tocino. The beef comes from our farm and small family farms around Mindanao. They come from cows that have been raised entirely on grass, with little stress and with no hormones and antibiotics. The pork comes from our own farm and the pigs have been raised on pasture, in spacious outdoor pens. Their natural diet consists of grass, cassava, copra cake, and chopped greens. They don’t get hormones or antibiotics too, nor were they fed any GMO corn or soybean. www.downtoearth.ph

Prado Farms (above) also has organic/biodynamic Lechon. He also has Biodynamic Lechon. His pampered pigs feed on Arugula and only receive homeopathic medicine. I have tried the Lechon and it’s tasty and guilt-free, because you don’t even see the grease. You would have to order a few weeks in advance. 09209831329.

If you go to the local butcher or market to buy beef, here are some tips: Grass Fed beef should be dark red in color (the brighter the red, the more chances the cow has been fed more grain.) The beef should also be smaller than imported/grain fed beef. Lastly, grass fed beef is always leaner than other meats. Make sure you don’t see a lot of marbling or fat. Beef in the supermarket or imported beef (unless labeled pasture-raised or grass fed) will most often be beef from cows that have been fed a majority of grain.

DAIRY

For me, the best would be raw milk, butter and cheese from a grass-fed milking cow (PLUG: we might have these soon!) My next best thing would be Hormone Free Goat’s Milk and Kesong Puti from Holy Carabao. There’s also Rizal’s Dairy, one of the older companies that started organic farming way back in the 1990s. I have bought Peanut Butter, free range eggs and Yoghurt from them since 2006. You can also find them at the Salcedo Market on Saturdays. They also have a stall at the open air section of Market Market in Fort.

SEAFOOD

I don’t have a source list but I stay away from heavily farmed fish like Bangus and Tilapia. Good choices would be to buy fish that are caught in the wild and are small. The smaller fish (and those that stay closer to the reef and corals) have lower doses of contaminants like mercury. Sardines and other fatty fish would be good for Omega 3 but they say not to eat Farmed Salmon, Chilean Seabass or Cod. I also try to buy deep water fish (but then you get the metals, argh!) and fresh shellfish. Oysters are a treat. There’s also a Sustainable Fish Pocket Guide you can download although it is based on U.S. standards and U.S. seafood. I stopped using the guide though as it leaves me very little to eat with!
http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/cr_seafoodwatch/sfw_alternatives.aspx

BREAD, CEREAL AND SNACKS

I sincerely try not to buy products made of bleached white flour or refined sugar. Also, my husband won’t let me buy commercial cereal because he’s paranoid about GMO corn. But the best thing would really be to bake your own bread, cake or cookies (that I cannot do.) Healthy Options has a good offering of alternative baking ingredients (I buy the brand Bob’s Red Mill and use organic unbleached white flour though they say the best would be to use coconut flour, which I am yet to see.) They also have Baking Powder and Cornstarch. For the lazy ones, you can buy Muffin, Cookie, Pancakes and Brownie mixes. Healthy Options would also have a wide variety of choices for healthier snacks. As much as possible, we stay away from fortified or bleached white flour and corn.

I buy my bread (10 Grain) from Gng. Bukid. They are famous for their Challah bread, Maja Blanca and Pandesitos. He is at the Salcedo Market every Saturday.
http://ginangbukid.blogspot.com/

EVERYTHING ELSE

Everything else I have to buy at the Grocery Store, Health stores (like EchoStore: echostore.ph and Sesou Nature Source), a lot from the weekend markets or Healthy Options. There are some rules I follow:

Try not to buy canned.
Don’t buy vegetable oil. I use Palm oil and olive oil instead.
No processed meats with additives.
Stay away from anything with the label “high fructose corn syrup, dextrose or fructose” with soybean or corn (chances are they are genetically modified soy or corn), MSG (Use Braggs for soy sauce), aspartame, or with a lot of ingredients I cannot pronounce.

So that’s almost my entire grocery list. Of course I would often stray (more often than I would like.) And then there’s always the binge, the relapse (especially when eating out) the comfort food, the parties and stress eating. But I tell myself, at least there’s the intention, and the striving. I try. Really, I do.

Some good recipes for cooking can be found: Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. A good friend who bakes also suggested Fannie Farmer Baking Book.

A good resource on the state of our food: Omnivore’s Dilemma.

Indoor Plants as Natural Air Filters

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Posted on August 4, 2011 by oysteronahalfshell

I grew up surrounded with green. My mom had the Green Thumb, which unfortunately has not been passed on. She had a beautiful garden and although we kept switching homes, the plants were a staple. Which is why I can still cringe when I see plastic ornamentals inside a home. I just still think that nothing could pass off for the real thing. It doesn’t help that I married a walking (and talking!) plant encyclopedia. My husband can tell you the name, genus and species of every plant and tree you see and can go on for hours. Ask any friend who’s had the privilege or bad luck of getting stuck with him in a road trip for 16 hours.

Now I’m stuck in a building and most people wonder how in nature’s name I could keep plants thriving inside without a balcony and the sun. But if I had my way I’d transform my home into a tropical forest. There’s something delightful about going inside a home filled with plants. The air’s a little bouncier, and you can actually breathe easy. And since you spend most of your time indoors, it helps to have a breath of fresh air especially when you live right smack in the middle of smoke city. In fact, indoor plants not only produce oxygen, they also absorb benzene, formaldehyde, xylene, toluene and trichlor.

NASA made a study on the best indoor plant filters. I have come up with my own list, adapting it to the availability of plants here and our tropical climate. These are VERY easy to have. Indoor plants originate from dense shades in tropical forests. The reason why they make good air filters is that they have a very high rate of photosynthesis (that’s why they don’t need as much sun.)

Plant	Benefits (according to NASAand Wolverton)			My comments
	Benzene	Formaldehyde	Tricho
Peace Lily	X	X	X	These are the easiest to take care of. They don’t need much sun and in fact thrive beautifully indoors. You also get a pretty white flower thatreminds you to om your way to peace.
Chinese Evergreens	X	X		These plants you can actually see everywhere as they are the office and mall favorite. They are sturdy and also do well indoors. I am not too fond of the plant though. They don’t look pretty J but you can buy small ones to keep on a desk.
Bamboo Palm			X	This ornamental I really love. They have nice pretty stalks that look like red bamboo and you can keep them for months. They also grow tall. I have had Bamboo palms inside my house growing for more than a year.
Mother in Law’s Tongue		X		For wives who would like their mother in law always in the house, this is the plant for you. Kidding. The name says it all, this plant just won’t wilt! It could go on forever. Though I have relegated these plants to the bathrooms (no meaningful reason, really) as they don’t need so much sun and could stay up and erect for months even if you forget to water them. (This plant is also known as Espada in the vernacular.)
Draceana (Fortune Plant)	X	X		Some people love this because it supposedly brings good fortune. I tried my luck and have these plants at our shop all the time.We bring this plant outdoors once a week. I try to water it twice a week. But I’ve seen this plant thrive so long without sun exposure.
Ficus		X		Quite elegant and can grow quite tall. I haven’t been very successful at keeping it for so long. I think it needs some sun. It is also sensitive to drafts. After a few months the top branches wilt. The little leaves always fall off too so you need to always sweep.
Rubber Plant		X		A strong indoor plant that tolerates drought. The leaves look shiny and sturdy almost like plastic.
Fern		X		I like how this plant looks but it is not as strong as the other plants. I think it’s because this plant likes humidity and you should be misting it when it gets too dry or hot. Could last a few months without a lot of sun.
Areca Palm				No one pays much attention to this palm as it is quite very common. But I love this plant and have had the palm for more than a year. It looks pretty indoors as they grow to a good size. I usually buy 2 or 3 (P100 each) and have them put in one big pot.
Spider Plant Rhapis (also known as Five Fingers or Lady Palm)				This is the easiest to keep. You can neglect it and still it will thrive. These are those common plants you see with the long thin leaves that have a white stripe in the middle. This one is very easy to keep. I have had Rhapis stay indoors for months without much problem. They call it Rapis in the vernacular. The leaves of these look like a fan or an opened palm.

You supposedly need 1 plant for every 1 square meter of floor space.

Spider Plant

MIL Tongue

Fortune Plant

You need not keep these plants near the window all the time nor do they need direct sun. Bi-weekly by the window with some filtered sun does the trick. I also water only once or twice a week.

Peace Lily

I buy my plants from the Bulacan Gardens, Guiguinto, Bulacan. It’s quite easy to find. Just take the exit that says Guiguinto and you’re apt to see gardens on one side of the road. It takes me about 1 hour 1/2 (from Makati) but it’s definitely worth the time and the gas. The prices are 1/3 what you would pay for them in other markets/gardens. You can get small plants for about P50-75 a piece and tall palms at P100. The more special ones (like an enormous Peace Lily or a Bamboo Palm) could go only as high as P250-500. Go with P2000 and you’ll have enough plants to fill an apartment or small home. Note that they won’t have a clue if you just tell them names. You need to research before you go there so you know how the plants should look like. They make up names for their plants too. Another garden market is the Manila Seedling Bank but there’s not much variety for ornamental houseplants and the prices are not as low.

There’s also a wonderful book How to Grow Fresh Air: 50 House Plants that Purify Your Home or Office. The book tells you about contaminants and toxins in your indoor environment and how plants remove these from the air. It also tells you what plants to buy and how to take care of them.

Pinoy Organic: When to Scrimp, when to Splurge

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Posted on November 11, 2010 by oysteronahalfshell

I have been hankering for a Philippine Dirty Dozen and Clean 15. There are vegetables and fruits that have made it to the American Clean 15 list, but shouldn’t be in ours. Their fruits and vegetables grow in a temperate climate with four distinct seasons. Our fruits and vegetables are not too lucky. We have no distinct wet and dry, and have the rains and humidity to contend with. There are just certain temperate fruits and vegetables that do not grow in this climate. And these fruits and vegetables are able to thrive, only when doused with pesticides and fungicides. Among these are cabbages and asparagus.

Here’s the gist of it:

1. Fruits or vegetables that are temperate can only be grown in high elevations in the Philippines. These elevations have more rain, and thus require more fungicides to thrive.

2. You are better off, as always, eating what is endemic or indigenous to the Philippines, and in season.

3. Also, determine whether your fruits or vegetables are grown in the ground. Those grown in the ground would have the most pesticides. Those that grow in trees would have lower levels.

4. Fruits or vegetables with thick outer layers can be washed and/or peeled, and prepared properly to lessen the pesticide levels.

Below is a list I came up with (with a little help from our farmers). I took into account the fruits and vegetables that make it into the Filipino cuisine.

DIRTY DOZEN Splurge on Organic

1. Celery- Pesticides in the bottom of the stalk

2. Pears- thin skin

3. Strawberries- grown low in ground, not endemic to Philippines

4. Apples- packs the highest level of pesticides

5. Grapes- some imported grapes have high pesticide levels

6. Bell Pepper- highest pesticide load for vegetables

7. Spinach- You’re better off eating Gabby Leaves or Malunggay (plants endemic to the Philippines.) Spinach is a ground-hugger like lettuce and drinks in pesticides through its stalks.

8. Potatoes- Again, they just grow above the ground so farmers use chemicals to make sure they can harvest potatoes. Pesticides are also ingested through the potato’s thin skin.

9. Broccoli/Cauliflower- If you live in temperate zones, these would have low pesticide levels. However, these vegetables only grow in cold weather, and if grown elsewhere (i.e. tropics), would need fungicides to thrive during the rainy months. Higher elevations would have more rainfall. Most of the broccoli we get here are grown at higher than 700 meters and these entail over a 100 inches of rain a year.

10. Tomatoes- Prone to bacterial wilt and pesticides, which in temperate climate, eases during the winter. In tropical zones, has to be sprayed to thrive.

11. Lettuce- Ease up on your salads or go organic. Lettuce stay in the ground and bulk up on pesticide laden water. They have a high pesticide load. If you can’t spend extra, reduce your exposure by removing the outer layers.

12. Cabbage- In temperate zones, these would have low pesticide levels. In our climate, cabbages suffer from diamond black moth infestations and are sprayed with pesticides.

CLEAN 15 When it’s ok to scrimp.

1. Onions-grown underground, can always remove outer skins

2. Avocado- tough skins

3. Sweet Corn (make sure these are not GMO)

4. Pineapple- touch skins, tropical

5. Mangoes- tough skin & grows high. BUT be sure though that these are in season when you buy them. Otherwise, the mangoes have been grown using flowering enhancers.

6. Watermelon/Melon- tough skin

7. Sweet Potato- grown underground, tough skin

8. Malunggay- endemic

9. Kangkong- endemic

10. Okra- endemic

11. Bananas- Tough skin, grows high

12. Alugbati- endemic

13. Camote Tops- endemic

14. Squash- tough skin

15. Carrots- grown underground, tough skin

GRAY Your call. These could have some fungicide/pesticides but negligible

1. Asparagus- with our rains, may get some fungus so some spray fungicide

2. Pechay- prone to worms, may be sprayed with pesticide

Taken in part: Environmental Working Group; Chensheng Lu, Emory University’s School of Public Health; United Fresh Produce Association and The Environmental Working Group’s Shopper’s Guide to Pesticides.

Mummies and Sunshine

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Posted on January 12, 2010 by oysteronahalfshell

By some twisted fate, does mommy burnout come once a year? I am truly being paid a visit by the Burnout MUMMY. And I certainly want to swaddle myself in those bandages so no one would see the decaying body and ask her to please do this for her or him, right now. Can someone please bundle me up, ship me in a box, and take me to Egypt? Is the sun a brilliant white there? Or release me down some beach where I can spend hours floating, drown out the noise underwater. I have been junking on Vitamin D, my substitute for sunshine. My dose of sunshine. I need one whole day out in the sun. Perhaps two. By my lonesome. Yes, my lonesome. Without the kids and husband in tow. So I no longer have to worry about things. So I can forget schedules and milk and not give a damn. So I do not have to brood over what’s on the table or in their heads. I want to plop myself on the sand and grin silly. Be away without a care in the world, but have the world caring for me.

I wish there was one day in the year when you could chose to un-mother or un-wife yourself. An un-Mother-Wife’s Day. I know I sound like a grump but really, who needs Mother’s Day or Valentines (well, our flower shop does.) I’m not desperate for chocolates or flowers, or dinner where everyone’s at their best to please the mommy-wife. I vote for a day to be myself for 24 hours. I know. Myself is a Mother and Wife. But that’s exactly what I am hankering for. One full day of me, without the honor of being mother and wife.

I realize as I am writing this just how terrible this Burnout Mummy has snared me. But honestly, everyone has been visited by the Burnout Mummy. I believe that there is no mother in the world that did not wish for the Sphinx or the Siren, (Stepford wives especially,) even if that wish has been buried in the pyramids or the sea, as a deep dark secret. There is always that day, that hour, those few minutes, when, having just packed the bags for school, kissed the little ones goodbye, given that big smile, clucked like a Mother Hen and tidied up your hen house, that you dreamed, you were a swaddled up nice and cozy, inside the box, that casket that wishes to be shipped to Eqypt or dropped down the ocean floor.

Oh The Things I Would Do

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Posted on October 30, 2009 by oysteronahalfshell

Tomorrow and it’s another long weekend. I have nothing planned except the customary lunch at the park, a drink with friends on Sunday, and some time with the kids. I just calculated how many Saturdays I would have till I breathe my last. 2,456 days (if I live to be 85). And yet I always think it is unending.

How many more sunsets? (Brandon Lee once posed this question and he died at 33.) How many more times do I get to dip in the ocean and lick the salt off my lips? How many more deep and wet kisses, the kind that seeps to my soul? How many more songs to belt out with my girls, their high-pitched voices and jumbled words? How many more prancing ballerinas, clumsy pirouettes that I often fail to capture? How many more days till I am no longer the queen and my every word magic? How many books, how much more wine, how much time to write another poem, and how many more times will I be in love?

I feel life slipping me by, as I sit here, staring at my screen, wondering what to do. And as I write this, I remember how often I have aimed to seize moments, and how often I have let them pass me by. I don’t want to wish I could, have done this or that, stayed longer at the beach, burnt myself crisp, crooned and twirled, kissed you more than I should. But that’s that. And now I have tomorrow, a Saturday and 2 more days of nothing to do after that. Oh the things I ought to do. So, what about bracing the beach even if there might be a storm? Or what about being bold about love, abandon into its exquisite joy? Because tomorrow my count goes down to 2,455, and that is, if I live till 85.

Raising a Green Baby in a Toxic World

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Posted on June 4, 2008 by oysteronahalfshell

A friend recently called me to ask about raising a baby while ensuring a sustainable lifestyle. In the course of eight months, I have slowly accumulated some wisdom on bringing up a Green-Eyed Baby.

1. Diapers: Who would have ever imagined cloth diapers would make a comeback? Here’s a point to ponder: your baby will use approximately 6,000 diapers before toilet training AND disposable diapers take 200-500 years to decompose. I know this firsthand. Notice how those nasty potty-filled nappies are always floating around while you are relaxing at the beach! More than this, studies have shown that “disposable diapers do release volatile organic compounds (VOCs). The main absorbent filler in disposable diapers is sodium polyacrylate, which could cause respiratory, as well as skin irritations. Also, most diapers are bleached white with chlorine.”

Enter cloth diapers. One study has found that home-washing cloth diapers has only 53% of the ecological footprint of disposables. Do note that cloth diapers are not what they used to be (goodbye diaper pins!). There are fitted cloth diapers with Velcro closures made of fleece. These look like disposables but are just made of cloth. I searched for locally made cloth diapers and found Tussy Wussy by Next9. They sell these cute cloth diapers at P1,000 for a set of 3. There’s also Terra Babies. They sell Bumkins, Happy Heinys and Ipay cloth diapers.

Also, as you are aiming for sustainable, make sure that you use non-toxic detergent. There is a local brand called Victoria at the supermarket. It’s an herbal, non-toxic and biodegradable detergent. Then there’s the old and reliable Perla White. And remember that you don’t have to iron the nappies.

I also found biodegradable diapers in Rustans/Shopwise. These are called 7th Generation Diapers and made with plant-based plastics (non-petroleum based and are compostable.) It’s about P700 for a set of 24 nappies. I tried these and use the biodegradable diapers when we travel or during car trips. There is a local distributor for Earth’s Best diapers, which are chlorine free. You can contact her 09178505766. It’s P180 for 30 diapers and they deliver.

Some have gone to the extreme of “diaper freedom,” but I am not ready to venture into that.

2. Milk

Of course, breast is best!!! Not only are you raising an ultra-healthy baby, it’s free and has no environmental footprint. If you need breast-pads though, please remember you do not need the disposable ones. Use cotton/cloth pads that you can reuse. Also, your cracked or sore nipples do not need creams or ointments! Really. The medicine for the cracks or soreness is simple: just nurse some more. It’s crazy but I swear by this method. However, if you really really really think you need one, some say olive oil can do the job.

While we are on the subject of baby milk, let me add a few thoughts on bottle-feeding. When you pump your milk, you will have to store the milk and feed your baby through baby bottles. If you still have not heard, mothers are concerned about toxic chemicals leaching from plastic bottles into milk. I used Avent for both daughters (with no problem, yet) but Avent is labeled as #7 plastic, and thus has BPA. I am now switching to BPA free bottles. As I said in my old posts, #5 plastics are among the most recyclable and have not been found to leach potential hormone disruptors. Off the web, I got the following information on #5 Baby bottles that you can try:

Rubbermaid Chuggables Bottles

Rubbermaid Sippin’ Sport Bottles

Evenflo Colored Baby Bottles

Evenflo Baby Bottles (opaque, pastel)

Gerber Baby Bottles (colors)

Medela Baby Bottles

Baby Bottles (Glass)

Lamby Glass Baby Bottles

Evenflo Glass Baby Bottles

While on the subject of milk, if you do not decide to breastfeed (please do) or have already weaned your child from the breast, I believe the next best milk is Goat’s Milk. Since I weaned my daughter, I have given her Goat’s Milk. Goat’s Milk is easier to digest than cow’s milk, higher in calcium. A friend Hindy, sells Goat’s Milk and you can order by texting 0918-942-2611.

3. Solid food

Make your own! Homemade Organic is best. Buy local or organic veggies and fruits from the market, steam or mash them with a fork. Simple! You can also make brown rice cereal by cooking organic brown rice and putting it in a blender. What works for me are mangoes, squash, papaya, avocado, sayote, carrots,and bananas (limit the bananas though). These are readily available and are locally grown. For occasional situations when you need to buy baby food in jars for convenience, Rustans and Healthy Options carry organic baby food (from P50-100).

44. Clothing

Much as we love to dress our kids in the cutest, hard to resist ensembles, all they really need are a few comfortable fabrics. I try to look for those that are made without toxic chemicals but sometimes the organic clothes are too pricey. Kids grow out of their clothes amazingly fast. What’s the most sustainable option? Hand-me-downs! I have to admit though, it is hard to resist and occasionally splurge on the new line of organic clothing. A friend Donna Tumacder Esteban makes these cute organic onesies with One word on them like Hope, Faith, Love. These are 100% natural unbleached, undyed cotton onesies and sells at P275. You can email her at dtesteban@yahoo.com. ALso, check out Cat in the Hat at Rustans. These are so damn cute!

Oh, and when washing the baby clothes, use pure soap and warm water. You can use Victoria or Perla White. Ilog Maria has clear liquid soap too but the scent is sometimes overpowering.

55. Bath

Your baby does not need a spa treatment! All they need is water and soap. A number of pediatricians even recommend just washing baby with water. Really. For the soaps, I recommend a local brand called Baby Blue by Nature Handmade Soaps. A mom especially made the soaps for her atopic baby. (Call 09273100808) There are also a number of handmade organic soaps in the market. I found quite a few at the Saturday Market of Salcedo and the Sunday Market of Barangay San Lorenzo, Eco Serendra and Eco Market. Ilog Maria also has a few handmade soaps. And please, don’t get sucked into all the baby ads. You don’t need baby powders, oils, lotions, and colognes. If you can’t resist the urge to use lotion, you can actually use plain old olive oil. There is also Oasis by Planet Noah
http://oneplanetnoah.multiply.com.
I use their Baby Oil and it’s simply delightful. Once your baby has grown, and you need to lather her up with shampoo, conditioner, lotion or cologne, you might want to try the organic line of Burt’s Bees, Badger, Jasons, or Aveeno. There are also a number of baby products such as Insect Repellants, Sunblock, and diaper rash creams made by Indigo Baby indigomanila.multiply.com. A product I highly recommend is Weleda, and made available to us by Centro Natura (you can call 9285386).

6. Wipes

Diaper wipes and liners commonly include propylene glycol, parabens and perfume, which can be made from up to 600 different chemicals. So what should you use? Plain old water on cotton! When we travel, I bring a spray bottle with water and use small cotton washcloths as my wipes.

7. Toys

I can’t stress this enough about toys. Less is more. Get back to basics and try old fashioned wooden toys or homemade toys. I know it’s hard to say no to the plastic toys as these are everywhere, look so appealing to our kids, and inexpensive too. But plastic, especially PVC vinyl, may contain lead, a neurotoxin; cadmium, a carcinogen; and phthalates, which have been linked to liver and kidney damage and cancer in animals. Babies put most things in their mouths, so go as natural as possible. Also aim for toys that helps build a child’s bond with nature and the natural world. If you need wooden toys, they are starting to have more choices at Rustans. Hobbes also carries Haba and Melissa and Doug. Local wooden toys are made by Tess Sobeng or Kraftek Trading (gtuano@yahoo.com.ph) carries wooden blocks and puzzles. There is also Tahanang Walang Hagdan at Market Market. Better yet, learn to see toys from nature, shells, wood, twigs, and flowers (remember how we used to thread santan to make wreaths, or squeeze the oil out of the gumamela flower.)

8. Furniture and accessories

This stresses me out. Babies don’t need all those bouncy seats, baby videos and diaper genies! They actually don’t need much. For me, the basic and essentials are: a place to sleep (no pillows or comforters), a car seat, a high chair, a sling (check out Next.9 or Indigo Manila indigomanila.multiply.com for the local slings) and a stroller. The best thing about this advice is that it makes having a baby so much cheaper! Oh and if you are looking for nice blankets, I found local hand woven blankets made in Iligan. Nenuca Syquia has made exquisite designs on these classics. Visit http://www.inabelblankets.multiply.com for details.

9. Home

Studies have shown that children brought up in over-cleaned houses are more likely to develop allergies, asthma, or eczema. So don’t stress out. The best thing you can do for your baby is just make sure you don’t cover him or her in synthetic chemicals. Avoid exposure to the chemicals contained in everyday products such as paints, carpet, furniture, cleaners, cosmetics and pesticides. (You can check my old post on Homemade Pesticides). Use natural and low-VOC paints for baby’s room. Davies has low-VOC paints. Germs and dust on the other hand, (i.e. let her play in the sand and get dirty!) are occasionally alright. Messy Bessy has recently introduced a product called Handy Nanny. It’s a chemical free spray bottle of almost pure water with oils that you can use as a disinfectant. www.messybessy.com

At the end of the day, raising a natural baby while minimizing our impact on the Earth has really less to do with buying certain products. We should always be mindful of simplicity and not to be so engaged in the consumer culture. So instead of buying the baby gadgets and accessories, getting sucked in by the baby couture movement, or keeping up with the Jones’ baby…try to respond to your baby’s needs with love, respect and sensitivity, breast-feed her, keep her close to you, nurture with the magic of touch, and strive for balance in your everyday life. I am certain then that parenting will come naturally.

Lighten your Footsteps on the Planet

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Posted on May 19, 2008 by oysteronahalfshell

He who would travel happily must travel lightly. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The future is indeed green. I am sure you are up to your ears with endless suggestions for greener living. Individuals young and old, blogs left and right, and companies big and small (even Clorox!) have innumerable tips for the Green Planet. Before they further bombard you with more advice for a sustainable lifestyle, here are simple ways to live a greener and healthier everyday, without breaking the bank.

1. Energy

One of the most effective ways to cut carbon emissions will also cut loads off your electric bill. Turn the lights off when you don’t use or need them, install energy efficient bulbs, buy energy-efficient appliances (look for the Energy Star rating), and keep a close eye on consumption.

Switch to Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs (CLFs). CLFs use much less power and last ten times longer than regular bulbs. CFLs are readily available at all hardwares and groceries, and they have all the sizes you need. They even have candle-shaped CLFs for your chandeliers. When buying new appliances, buy energy-efficient appliances. New appliances have an Energy rating and some are proudly sporting the Energy Star.

TIP: Pull the plug, don’t make your electronics sleep on standby as these still pull current. Televisions or DVDs with standby modes can use up to half the power they would draw when turned on. Don’t just turn something off: unplug it.

2. Transport

One of the biggest impacts we make on the planet is through our cars and travel. We’ve heard about hybrid automobiles but since a new Hybrid car seems like a long shot (and expensive,) you can still reduce your carbon footprint by walking (when the route is not so far), biking, or commuting. Carpooling is also another option.

TIP: Keep tires properly inflated, it saves a lot of gas. I also read that the way you drive has a lot of effect on your fuel consumption. Avoid sudden starts and stops and don’t go too fast. Lastly, get a regular annual tune-up and maintain your car so you also burn less gas.

3. Water

“Every drop of tap water we use also requires energy to filter, purify and transport, and that means fossil fuel emissions.” Water is also becoming an ever-scarcer resource. It’s easy to conserve water. No dripping faucets! Turn the tap off when you’re brushing your teeth, collect rainwater for use in your garden, or practice “selective flush” (don’t flush unless necessary.) Another way is when washing dishes by hand, fill up the sink and turn off the water. Take shorter showers or shower with a friend (ha-ha!)

TIP: While reading on sustainable living, I learned that we should not dry-clean. They use perc (tetrachloroethylene), a known carcinogen to dry-clean clothes.

4. Food

To bring it back to basics, there are four principles that can help you: eat local, eat seasonal, eat organic, and finally, eat less meat (the last one, is hard! I’m trying )).

You may check my previous article on Local v. Organic and Organic Food: When to Scrimp or Splurge.

TIP: By eating local you save a tremendous amount of wasted fossil fuels and packaging to get the food to where you are.

5. Waste

The 3Rs: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. A lot of us remember the last R: Recycle but please, always be conscious of REDUCE and REUSE. Before buying a new item, think twice, or thrice, about whether you need it. REDUCE. Or, always REUSE items you would have otherwise deemed as junk or trash. Try to have a paperless office. Find use for the monthly billing envelopes. Print on both sides of your paper or use up all or most of the spaces on paper. (There is a software that does that, See Greenprint Software. You can also opt for environmentally friendly paper like recycled paper or Paper One (available at National Book Store.) Resources like Freecycle or Ebay can also help you find a happy home for your junk.

I also wrote an article on Recycling, you might want to check Recycle, but How? and More on Recycling.

TIP: Use rechargeable batteries instead of buying new batteries all the time. Billions of batteries are manufactured each year and discarded after a single use.

6. Cosmetics

We all know about the impacts of personal care products on both the environment and on our health. There are now a lot of companies providing sustainable and local alternatives such as Planet Noah, Leyende, By Nature Handmade Soaps, Fresca, or IlogMaria, a Honeybee farm that has soap and oils, beeswax and wild honey. You might also want to see my previous post on Beauty Naturally. It used to be so hard to find local and sustainable items but now they’re just about everywhere. Two of the most complete stores are ECHO at Serendra Plaza, Bonifacio Global City and Eco Market at Market Market.

TIP: Less is almost always more. Going “au natural” takes you a step further in caring for the plant.

7. Cleaning

Many everyday cleaning products are made up of nasty chemicals and toxins. However, the natural cleaning products work too, sometimes even better. All you need are: vinegar and baking soda! Aside from making my own, I use some of Messy Bessy’s Products (www.messybessy.com), Victoria (for laundry soap) and then there’s a new brand called Plantex. I also use Ilog Maria’s Beeswax wood and leather wax for my wood, floors and leather. Take a look at my previous post on Green Cleaning.

TIP: . Vinegar and baking soda can be used to clean almost anything. Mix in a little warm water with either of these and you’ve got yourself an all-purpose cleaner.

8. Renewable energy credits

Another way to “offset” your carbon footprint is to buy renewable energy credits (RECs). There are many websites that will help you calculate your energy consumption (although these are mostly US-based) and buy a requisite amount of RECs to compensate for it. To illustrate, to offset the amount of pollution you contribute by going to and from work, you buy “credits” from www.nativeenergy.com, a company that pools capital and invests it in wind energy or methane farm projects. The websites I have found are www.terrapass.com and www.renewablechoice.com.

Lastly, there is so much information on green thinking and sustainable living these days, it’s difficult to decide which ones to follow. The websites I deem useful are Grist (environmental news), Treehugger (Sustainable Living Blog) and National Geographic’s Green Guide. Treehugger has Green Guides for those who wish to take the next step and live sustainably. The easiest way is also to watch documentaries like An Inconvenient Truth, The 11th Hour and BBC’s Planet Earth.

Taken in part from the Green Guides of Treehugger and www.Lighterfootstep.com

The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes. Marcel Proust

Doing Less Having More

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Posted on May 12, 2008 by oysteronahalfshell

I remember my first Mother’s Day as if it was just yesterday. It was not a celebration of motherhood but a momentous task of making sure that hundreds of flower boxes were sent on time to eager mothers everywhere in the Philippines. It dawned on me that day: Mother’s Day would always be a WORK day for me, as though I was Mrs. Claus, managing my elves, and making sure Rudolf delivered everyone’s flowers that day. And so it will be for every other major gift-giving holiday in the Philippines. All work and no play.

But this year, it was different. Armed with my inner resolve to live more from less, I deliberately stopped receiving orders when I felt that we had enough orders to pay the bills, pay the effort, and have a little to celebrate with. As I knowingly turned my back on having more materially, I found refuge in having more time to be with my husband and children, as we simply reveled in the blessings of motherhood. Instead of material gain, I found exquisite joy in going home and still having time for play, a relaxed and unhurried mealtime, watching my husband and daughter piggy-back on the pool, sleeping-in and awakening to a banner celebrating ME!

I am too much a lover of life to allow work to dominate my days, despite its material rewards. Life is a precious and sacred gift, and I cannot afford to waste time pursuing the non-essentials.

With a lopsided culture that measures our worth by money and status, many of us fall into the trap or get caught up in a cycle of living to work, and not working to live. I just hate it when people I meet right away ask me; “So what do you do?” “Where do you work?” In this masochistic society, to be busy is a sign of importance. It’s always about what you do and not who you are. The harder you work, the higher you rise in the corporate ladder, the fatter your paycheck. It boggles a mind when those who only sleep four hours a night or work 12 hours a day evoke envy, not sympathy.

I used to watch the partners in the law firm where I worked. The big honchos seemingly lived in the office- they came in early, worked as if there was no tomorrow, would have their fancy lunches and dinners, and then…viola, go back to work! Of course, they had their flashy cars, sailboats, even a plane, but when will they find the time to delight in these? Do millions still matter when you’re stuck at work, as precious time flitters away? What about being at home to read a bedtime story and kiss your child goodnight, instead of just watching him sleep? Come to think of it, with the number of hours they put in, if their profits or paychecks were divided by the hours worked, we might find that they’re actually working for peanuts!

A lot of us have placed too much value on work that we have forgotten how to live. We never question why we have to work so much. I understand the need to earn a living. Work puts food on the table, pays the bills, allows us comfort and indulges us with a little luxury. However, many of us squander precious time at the office so we can, among other ironies: pay for the house we can’t enjoy; afford the nannies that raise our children so we can spend more time at work; buy vacations that we can only take once a year in a hurried and frantic pace (while we lug laptops and work even more!)

I believe the key is, as it often is, finding what is essential to you and then striking a balance between work and living a full life. For some, this means refusing a tempting offer to go further up the corporate ladder to spend time at home raising children. For others, it could be detaching oneself from the lure of the multinational company and choosing a small company that allows free time to go on trips, go on adventures or explore new places. And still, there are those that prefer the six figure salaries and grandiose perks to lost time with friends or family. If the fat wad of cash every 15 days makes them truly happy, let them be.

I do not regret foregoing the additional orders that would have padded our wallets and allowed us that fat juicy Wagyu steak nearby. If I took more orders, I wouldn’t have had the time for dinner on Mother’s Day anyway! Looking back, I have never regretted leaving the glitzy world that would have provided me with the “Office with a View.” In any event, I would have been buried in books to even see it! I simply refuse to have the gift of a cherished life pass me by unnoticed. Success doesn’t have to have a title, or a suit, or a fat paycheck. I make my own definition of success, one that involves less stress, and more time to do that which really matters.

Simplify

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Posted on May 4, 2008 by oysteronahalfshell

As you simplify your life,

the laws of the universe will be simpler;

solitude will not be solitude,

poverty will not be poverty,

nor weakness weakness.”

-Henry David Thoreau

I just came from Camiguin, to visit my husband’s 97-year-old grandmother. If there is one thing to learn about this trip, it’s that simple living, in an island where the grass is green, the skies are blue, and the birds are still singing, is the elixir of youth.

I am not about to sell or give away all my material possessions and live in a nipa hut by the sea (actually, that’s a wonderful idea). However, a glimpse of life without the trappings of modern city life, made me realize that we tend to over-complicate our lives with a lot of non-essentials, when we do not need much to survive. Living simply means “a manner of living that is outwardly more simple and inwardly more rich.. [i[t is about living an examined life — one in which you have determined what is important, or "enough," for you, discarding the rest. [Duane Elgin, “Voluntary Simplicity.”]

We seem to be conditioned to be more, work more, amass more, have more. It is as though worth is equated by the ownership of certain material possessions or living a certain life. We are stuck in a merry-go-round of “having.” “I have to do this, have to buy this, have to get that.” We live by the standards set out by those outside of us, then get overwhelmed by it, because simply, we are not living our own life. Worse, many of us are stuck in a cycle because we yearn to possess more, to feed the gnawing feeling inside us, to fill a bottomless void.

I fear that I am in too deep in this trap of modern life, that I have to keep living “for others” to fulfill the expectations of the world of men/women. But then a simple trip to the province has ignited that spark in me, making me see that indeed, simple living is the key and that it has immeasurable rewards. Living to live up to society’s expectations is living in a façade. The empty gnawing feeling will never be filled so long as I live a life without purpose, as I overwhelm myself with things and tasks that I have to do, forgetting to breath, and too busy to figure out my own destiny.

Many of us are overly busy, stuck indoors, and over-burdened with chores or tasks that we become disconnected with our soul’s stirrings, nature, or our real purpose. However, I have only to look at my grandmother and life at the country, and see how simplifying one’s life gives way to contentment. Having less, makes room for the time and space to do what you really want to do. I believe that once you have discovered what you really want to do, you can continue living a simple life, as your purpose overrides any of those things that complicate life.

Additionally, we should always remember our deep roots in the natural world. It’s hard to do so in the city where buildings obstruct sunsets and the sky has turned ashen gray instead of blue. But just be mindful of nature and you can still see a glimpse of natural miracles everyday. Find time to get outside with a reverence for nature and you will find a little serenity, remind you of simple pleasures and give you a taste of life’s rich bounty.

I am a long way from a simple life, farther even from contentment. It’s difficult to rehabilitate oneself from the addiction of modern life and its excesses. It is difficult to dissociate myself from society’s standards of material living. It would take a deliberate and conscious leap for me to live simply. But I am certain it is possible, and the rewards, priceless. I have a friend who used to be so vain, she would obsess about her outfit for our class, more than studying for recitation, and would recite with her newly manicured nails in midair, afraid she would ruin her perfect nails. Believe it or not, she no longer wears make-up, does not care about fashion and is planning to move to the country! Yet, I have not seen a more content person, whose everyday is filled with constant joy, not the momentary bursts of pleasure we often have. I have made an inner resolve to take that arduous leap, eliminating all but the essential (will try )), finding time for solitude, and spending time doing what is important to me. As Thoreau said, “Our life is frittered away by detail… Simplify, simplify.”

*While reading about living simply, I found the Simple Living Network, an online network for conscious, simple, healthy and restorative living. I also found some great tips on Simplifying from a book by Elaine St. James entitled “Simplify your Life: 100 Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things that Really Matter”.

Homeopathic Remedies

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Posted on April 12, 2008 by oysteronahalfshell

I’ve been fortunate to have found a doctor who practices homeopathy and natural medicine. My children are yet to take antibiotics, and their bodies have almost always naturally healed without conventional medicine. Oatmeal for rashes on my three month old baby, water for the cough of my two year old (“that’s the first thing we learned in med school” she said), Tea Bags for their eye sores, Eucalyptus oil for clearing breath-ways, Echinacea to prevent the nasty flu from bugging us, Belladonna for fever, Tempra only if the body can’t cure itself. Natural remedies have been used for centuries. Remember how our moms used to make us Ginger “Salabat” tea for sore throats? “Homeopathy has also been there for more than 200 years. It is a gentle, holistic system of healing. It focuses on you as an individual, concentrating on treating your specific physical and emotional symptoms. [It uses a holistic perspective, taking the whole human being, his body and his psyche as well.] The therapy is based on the theory of treating “like with like”. Homeopathic remedies are diluted natural substances that if given to a healthy person, would produce the symptoms the medicine is prescribed for.” What is nice about it is that Homeopathy is a complementary therapy, and is used alongside chiropractic, herbal medicine, acupuncture, and with most conventional medicines. (See
http://www.homeopathy-soh.org/about-homeopathy/what-is-homeopathy
) With my experience of homeopathy on my children, I have learned to approach sickness not as problems but as “need-bes” that contribute to the development of later, more stable states of health. I have learned to trust in the body’s healing forces, taking fever, rashes, or vomiting, as signs of the body’s struggle to overcome infection, and achieving a higher level of immunity for the future. I know that I owe the strength of my immune system to the fact that we, as children, were allowed to learn how to cope with germs. We were allowed to survive illness with no fever suppressants, antibiotics, even some vaccines. Also, I have come to value health as a balance and order in our bodily, emotional and mental functions and activities. Our resistance to ill-health may be strengthened by love, security and a stable home environment. While I can’t say that I shun drugs or vaccination, I have learned to take the middle-ground, trying natural remedies first, then moving to homeopathic treatments, and if the infection is too strong, then drug my way into health.

Here’s my list of TOP homeopathic remedies (most of these I get from the ISIP Center, Dra. Chen or Dra. Baclig. Healthy Options also carries homeopathic kits):

Echinicea: Immune System, when someone in the house feels like getting a cold, the flu or fever

Ferrum Phosphate: Low grade Fever, Colds

Pyrite and Cinnabar: Cough

Apis Belladona: Fever, Infection

Sabadilla: Allergies

Constipation: Digestodoron

Diarrhea: Carbo Betullae

Asthma: Prunus, Veronica, Quercus

Chamomila: Sleeping, Migraine, Dysmenorrhea

Liver Detox: Hepatoderon

Stress/Anxiety: Bach Flower Essence: Rescue Remedy (from Healthy Options)

There are several doctors that now practice homeopathic medicine in the Philippines, aside from other holistic practices such as Reiki healing and curative Eurythmy. If you want to explore homeopathic medicine, alongside conventional medicine for your children, my doctor is Dra. Cricket Palanca-Chen. You may reach her at her clinic at 632-8449185. There is also a Raphael Clinic at the Isip Center, 6241 Palma St., Poblacion, Makati City. 632-895-84-21. The Clinic has wellness and healing programs on family medicine and pediatrics, general medicine, eurythmy, acupuncture, stress management and laser therapy. For family medicine, I go to Dra. Pinky Baclig. She has clinics in Makati (Th-Sat. at the Prince Tower, Tordesillas St.) or Quezon City (1-A Paciano Rizal Street, corner J.P. Rizal, Project 4, Quezon City.) http://pvbaclig.wordpress.com. You can also contact Dra. Baclig at 396 53 86 or 09177068951.

Organic Food: When to Scrimp, When to Splurge

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Posted on April 12, 2008 by oysteronahalfshell

I read a great article on when it makes sense to buy organic and when the advantages are nil that it’s impractical to spend money on it. Here’s the rundown:

FRUITS

When to spend on organic:

Apples: Among fruits, apples pack the highest level of pesticides overall! The pesticides pool on the apple’s top and bottom. So much for “An Apple a Day!.”

Cherries: Heavily contaminated with pesticides since worms love them. You have no choice but to go organic.

Grapes: This one, you can’t be sure. Since grapes are not all imported to the Philippines, some grapes have high pesticide levels since international controls on pesticides are not rigorous on some countries.

Pears: Definitely. The skin of pears is thin and the pesticide content is high. They absorb chemicals directly into the flesh.

Strawberries: Yes. These grow too low on the ground and need high pesticide content to keep away soil bugs. I have seen some farms in La Trinidad, Baguio that claim to be growing organic strawberries. Do not be deceived by the label, we went into one of their greenhouses, and despite what they say, the berries were still being sprayed.

When to Scrimp on it:

Avocados: Protected by tough skins, these are one of the most no-pesticide fruits.

Mangoes: Also protected by their skins and grow high in trees. Be sure though that these are in season when you buy them. Otherwise, the mangoes have been grown using flowering enhancers.

Bananas: These grow 30 feet above the ground and are protected by the tough banana skin. Bananas have one of the lowest pesticide loads.

VEGETABLES

When to Spend on organic:

Peppers: Yes. These vegetables are doused with pesticides and have the highest pesticide load of any vegetable.

Celery: Pesticides stay on the bottom of the bunch of celery stalks. It is also said to have the most likely to contain multiple pesticides. You can still get away with it though if you prepare and wash these well.

Broccoli: If you are in the United States or live in temperate zones, broccoli has among the lowest pesticide levels. However, these vegetables only grow in cold weather, and if grown elsewhere (i.e. tropics), would need fungicides to thrive during the rainy months. Higher elevations would have more rainfall. Most of the broccoli we get here are grown at higher than 700 meters and these entail over a 100 inches of rain a year.

Lettuce: Ease up on your salads or go organic. Lettuce stay in the ground and bulk up on pesticide laden water. They have the highest pesticide load of any vegetable. If you can’t spend extra, reduce your exposure by removing the outer layers.

Spinach: This one has got to be organic or your better off eating Gabby Leaves or Malunggay (plants endemic to the Philippines.) Spinach is a ground-hugger like lettuce and drinks in pesticides through its stalks. And unlike lettuce, you can’t remove its outer layers.

Potatoes: Again, they just grow above the ground so farmers use chemicals to make sure they can harvest potatoes. Pesticides are also ingested through the potato’s thin skin.

When to Scrimp on it:

Peas: Peas have among the lowest pesticide content and are protected by pods.

Camote/Sili or Fern Tops: These are tropical vegetables and will thrive anywhere and anytime without the use of pesticides or fungicides.

Malunggay/Gabby/Alogbate/Kangkong: Again, these are tropical vegetables and will thrive anywhere and anytime without the use of pesticides or fungicides.

In a nutshell:

Fruits or vegetables grown in the ground would have the most pesticides. Those that grow in trees would have lower levels.
Fruits or vegetables with thick outer layers can be washed and/or peeled, and prepared properly to lessen the pesticide levels.
Fruits or vegetables that are temperate, can only be grown in high elevations in the Philippines. These elevations have more rain, and thus require more fungicides to thrive.
You are better off, as always, eating what is endemic or indigenous to the Philippines, and in season. Go home and plant camote.

Taken in part: Environmental Working Group; Chensheng Lu, Emory University’s School of Public Health; United Fresh Produce Association

Local v. Organic

Featured

Posted on April 12, 2008 by oysteronahalfshell

I was just at the weekly market at the Jaime Velasquez Park (Salcedo Market). As always, the stall with the most people were the Organic Fruits and Vegetables stalls (well, ironically, aside from Ineng’s PORK barbeque.) I just realized that with the hype on Organic produce today, everyone’s rushing to buy anything labeled “organic.” But the term is being loosely used left and right. And, with producers branding their produce as that, who knows if we really get what we want, and need. My husband has been adamant about how in the Philippines, true “organic“ produce is hard to come by. Strictly speaking, the fruit or vegetable must have been grown in land that has not used commercial fertilizer for the last three years. And you know that in our country, that alone is quite a feat. Also, a lot of experts argue that the environmental advantage of buying organic is negated when you are shipping the product over long distances. Take the case of vegetables that are not indigenous to the Philippines such as spinach, cauliflower, apples and oranges. These have to travel far distances to get to our markets, using vast resources and energy to get to us. Imagine how much emissions we get from airplanes and trucks, as these produce travel over great distances. Now if we buy these because they are labeled organic, now where is the “green” value of that? Also, these temperate vegetables and fruits cannot simply thrive in our environment. We can only product them if we use the very fungicide chemicals that we shun. Additionally, fruits like mangoes normally would only fruit once a year, usually summer. If these fruits are forced to flower and fruit, you would have to induce the same by pumping it with nitrates. My take on this is this: BEST is Local and Organic; and NEXT BEST is Local and In Season. Adjusting our diets to what is indigenous to the Philippines and what is in season ensures that what we get and eat are the freshest. And, in addition to “saving the planet,” we support our local farmers.

*As of now, locally grown organic products include rice, fruits and vegetables (mostly carrots, celery, potatoes, onions and tomatoes), herbs and spices, soybean and honey. There are some farms selling livestock and poultry, fish, dairy and fertilizers. The main organic export products we have been successful with are muscovado sugar, bananas, and coconut oil.

A Maiden Voyage

Posted on May 12, 2013 by oysteronahalfshell

(for mom, on Mother’s Day)

I was born cradled in the sea

In a ship

that never anchored

Incessantly carried

out of loud moaning waves

to foreign isles and islands

Rocked by

the waving arms

of my mother

My mother, Aphrodite, beautiful Goddess of love and pleasure

She was born in sea-foam,

when the Sky

longing for love

lay about the Earth.

She rose up from the deeps

and Eros (Love) and Himeros (Desire),

shadowed her from birth

amongst men and undying gods.

Barely coming out of the water,

she lost her mother at five

and was hurled back

into the maddening sea

to live with the Goddess of Duty

Weeping for love

a trifling amusement

My mother, a Goddess of Love and Pleasure

she could have none

So she roamed over the waves

Wretched, desperate to find a sailor

a prince, a god, to liberate her

She met a drunken sailor

seemingly the god of wine and merriment

and rode on his boat

Sailed away for twenty days

and wed

A goddess, cavorting with a mortal

The gods punished her

Shipwrecked

Fallen to the brine of the sea

Widowed at 24

She could have been with a god

of music and poetry

He could have charted her course

were it not for sirens and songs

My father, the drunken sailor.

My father, intoxicated on moonshine

I forgot him at sea

In an island between

three and five

A god of wine, banquets and merriment

He abandoned immortality for uncharted lands

lured by a song that promised forgetfulness

He steered his boat towards the rocks

And flung himself, drowning in the abyss.

My mother, she was violet-crowned

Swathed with heavenly garments

Maidens took her

to the magical dances in islands

of gods and princes

And she carried me with her

as we slipped

looking for a place to anchor

a prince, with a castle.

The prince, my second father

He built us a castle adorned with gold.

Glass slippers for our feet, as we ventured on land.

The slippers broke,

too fragile for my mother’s webbed feet

The sea beckoned.

We set sail: Mother, me, two brothers

to islets and rocks, waters to sink into

Our shimmering castle was not home.

We sailed on

“Amidst the whisperings of maidens

amidst smiles, and deceits

amidst sweet delight

love and graciousness”

And encountered in the depths

The god of the Sea

His wrath were the waves

And my mother embraced him.

Poseidon, my third father,

God of the deep

earth shaker, lord of the sea’s expanse

He was, after his birth,

swallowed by his father Cronos,

and thrown up again

sowing hatred in his heart

a trident on his hands

our ship in his watery grave.

She loved him, of everyone else

Born of sea-foam

she poured the entirety

of beauty, love and pleasure

Froth to the sea god

who devoured her ship whole

when he had it in his power

to subdue storms, summon white clouds,

grant our voyage, save us from the cruel sea.

One day

Poseidon’s rage

called forth monsters that shook our earth

And the profound sea

obeying the dark god

surged at my mother’s

heart

splitting our ship

at its helm.

My mother,

Engulfed in water

Hung on to a piece of her heart

The violet-crowned Goddess, no longer immortal

She was violently swept by the currents

Carried off by the roaring waves to safety

But away from her children

Who clasped the broken ship,

Drifting, lost at sea.

Our Mother goddess

She wanders alone in its expanse

In the flow of the changing sea

Having dominion over Love, Beauty and Pleasure

That hounded her from birth

She eluded them, set on a voyage

that did not anchor

to save sailors, princes, gods and their children

except she needed rescuing.

We are adrift without her

Goddess at the helm of our ship

And so we seek her

in every port, ship, island,

in every drunken sailor, prince and god

Our mother of the sea

Home is with her

the beguiling sea, ship that rocked from wave to wave

Borne in her cradling arms of love, beauty and pleasure.

March 30, 2009

PZA

This is a gift that I have, simple, simple- a foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions. These are begot in the ventricle of memory, nourished in the womb of pia mater, and delivered upon the mellowing of occasion.- William Shakespeare

Interests: Sustainable Living, Anthroposophy, Holistic Health, Green Planet, Astrology, Esoteric Wisdom, Spirituality, Mindfulness, Waldorf Education, Beaches and Mountains, and Children.

Virtues: Love, Compassion, Prudence, Empathy, Respect, Appreciation and Wonder

Vices: Red wine, Chocolate and Caffeine

Occupation: Mother and Child, Wife and Lover, Mystic, Free-spirit, Hopes to save the planet, Yearns for Divine Wisdom, Aspires to be a Channel for Grace, Lawyer on the side.

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